Still in #$@% Oregon

The Post Office said the paperwork sent from Idaho to Oregon is "not deliverable", even though the address was confirmed to be correct. There's also tracking on it, but the USPS doesn't know where it is.

So the agency sent an electronic version today, which supposedly Oregon doesn't accept, and now Oregon is trying to decide if they'll accept termination of parental rights the way Idaho usually does it.

SERIOUSLY?

I paid a hefty "placement fee" so the professionals could handle the paperwork, and this is the outcome? It's not like Oregon is a foreign country - they're our next door neighbor! Thankfully the private attorney I was using to network is now involved, and I've been very impressed with her in the past.

I was told I'd be in Oregon a few days, maybe 10, worst case scenario 2 weeks. We are on day 15 and counting. Yeah, I'm throwing a fit.

Still in Oregon...

Morning nap, 13 days old.

Felix and I are still here, awaiting news on paperwork that won't come till at least Tuesday due to the holiday. Uggghhh....

Every night I'm learning what works and what doesn't in getting him to sleep after each feeding. He'll sleep in his monkey chair at the beginning of every night and early in the morning, but not after the feedings in between. Hates the bassinet, but likes being propped at an angle on my chest or a pillow. Hates the generic "comparable to..." bottle nipples. And he continues to sleep hardest at about 8:30am after I've gotten up for the day. When we get home, it'll be much quieter and full of different smells and sounds (and easier to sleep in), but I'm really hoping we don't have to start from scratch with the routines we've started.

On Friday I took Felix and the girls to La Grande for the day. We stopped at an antique shop and bought a Scrabble deck with tiles that spell FELIXDR, and Mara thinks he'll rearrange it and become a doctor. Then we drove downtown, parked, got out and started wandering. The girls tried on formal dresses at a secondhand store (the owner wasn't amused) and we laughed pretty hard at a store boasting "KNIFE SHARPENING" with displays full of teddy bears. We also visited the oldest JC Penney I've ever seen and a coffee shop with a guy so chatty, I thought my latte would be cold by the time he handed it over.

I continue to be surprised by the comments strangers make when we're out and about. Some are so shocking/inappropriate I won't post them here. Most comment on how tiny he is and how great I look, though, and exclaim that there's NO WAY their babies were that tiny. (They were.) Absolutely no one has assumed we're an adoptive family, and that's nice. It wasn't a requirement that my child look like me, but it's a nice little bonus that could mean he feels a lot less singled out as he grows up.

My parents are on their way for another visit today, and if the weather holds we might head up to Anthony Lakes for lunch. I'm really not used to 60, windy and rainy for Memorial Day weekend, but that's Oregon for you.

P.S. Quite a few people have asked if the paperwork holdup is due to the birth mom not signing, but it's nothing like that. We're awaiting clearance on ICPC, which is a program that triple-checks paperwork between states in order to prevent the trafficking of children across state lines.

My New Normal

Morning nap while I work.

I suppose like every new mom, I'm getting used to cold coffee and cold toast, brown apples and starting my mornings half-dressed with half-dry hair. Yep, babies have a tendency to interrupt!

Andrea and her family continue to be amazing. They're taking such good care of us, including my dog. Jayda is loving all the windows (so she can patrol the whole neighborhood), and extended play sessions with Bella, a 9-month old Chocolate Lab. She's visibly exhausted at all hours and often falls asleep sitting up on the couch in the middle of the day.

I've been working a couple of hours a day "from home", which has been great. It's a much needed escape from the bottle-diaper-bottle-diaper routine, and it gives my day some structure.

Yesterday I landed an appointment with a highly recommended pediatrician in Boise and started a daycare spreadsheet - this afternoon I'll be calling tons of places and arranging to meet when we're back in Boise. And by "meet", I mean I'll be dropping in unannounced to see how they really operate.

Bella and Jayda in a wrestling match/gnawfest.

Baker City, where we're staying, is a quaint little town with cute mismatched homes and friendly old folks outside gardening all day. It's your typical all-American small town...a great place to welcome summer. Felix and I are able to walk to the grocery store, downtown and the park. This afternoon we're going to check out a bunch of thrift stores.

That said, I am starting to get homesick. We're planning parties for my mom's and brother's birthdays, plus camping and the baby shower, all in the next few weeks. I can't wait to get there and get started on my new life with Felix.

Quick Trip to the ICU

Lunch while we awaited bilirubin lab results.

Yesterday Felix had an appointment in Ontario, about an hour from where we're staying. Unfortunately his jaundice was worse and we were given strict instructions to report to the hospital for an overnight stay for some light therapy. The pediatrician was great and arranged for us to stay at a hospital local to our friends' house, so that helped immensely when organizing food, clothing and milk supplies. We could have stayed as long as 2 days, but thankfully Felix responded really well and we were discharged this afternoon. He hated being naked, blindfolded and laying still under those lights, so it was a long night for both of us. The worst part was having to put him back on the table after each feeding - he'd cry hard like I had just betrayed him in the cruelest way possible.

Tomorrow Uncle Brian and Auntie Jill are coming to meet Felix for the first time, then it'll be on to a "normal" weekday schedule while we await paperwork to return to Oregon. Good times!

Who Goes There?

Tiny Felix in the middle.

Before I left for Oregon, a fellow adoptive mom warned me that the hospital could be a very emotionally draining experience. Her insight really prepared me and made the last 3 days bearable.

Initially, the birth mom said she just wanted photos and wasn't interested in holding the baby after he was born. But that all changed quickly. She asked to meet both of us as soon as they were out of recovery, and decided she'd like to basically share custody of him while we were in the hospital.

This was difficult for me, but I couldn't deny the sweet baby cuddle time with his birth mama. No one would benefit from that. If she was going to change her mind (she kept promising she wouldn't), she'd change it regardless of whether they had 2 visits or 10.

So, in the blink of an eye, the hospital did turn into a very emotionally draining experience. The worst part was all the people coming and going from our room at all hours. Every time there was a quick knock and the door started to open, I wondered who it was. Someone coming to check vitals? The cleaning lady? Food delivery? The case worker? The agency coordinator with good news/bad news/no news? The financial coordinator? The pediatrician? A nurse taking the baby to see birth mom? A nurse bringing him back? I always knew when they were bringing him back because there would be a knock, the door would open slowly and no one would come in...but the heavy wooden baby basket would start to appear seconds later. Exhale.

This afternoon we were discharged from the hospital as planned, after Felix had a quick final goodbye with his birth mom. I wasn't part of that exchange, and selfishly I was relieved she didn't ask to see me. I hate goodbyes - they make me physically ill - and I'm sure that emotions and lack of sleep would have rendered me a sobbing, worthless mess.

This evening we made it to Baker City with my parents, and my friend and her two daughters literally came running out of the house to hug me and see Felix. The 5 of them cuddled him and fed him and changed his diapers all night, and I got a home-cooked meal, some merlot and a long shower.

On to day 4.

Made it Through the First Night

5:00 am photo op.

Yep, I'm exhausted. But not because of Felix. He's pretty easy to keep happy so far - clean diaper, feet covered, food in tummy, done. He's a very vocal boy with all sorts of coos and sighs (he sighs a little on every exhale when he's content), but I have a feeling I'll learn really quickly to sleep through his normal sounds.

The problem is that our hospital room is positioned between two birthing rooms. This means that 3 times during the night, I heard women in the throes of labor, moaning/screaming etc. Followed by newborn squeals. There's one kiddo in here who sounds like a dog squeaky toy every time she cries, and it echoes up and down the hallways. I have to say it has renewed my appreciation for how these babies come into the world, that's for sure!

The other problem is that this place is hustle and bustle 24/7. Lights, talking, activity, opening/closing doors, walking into the room to check baby's vitals every couple of hours, taking him to the nursery at midnight and 5 am for physicals...

I did have a hot breakfast delivered this morning, and there was even real half and half for the coffee, so that helps. But I am VERY much looking forward to checking out tomorrow and spending some time with friends and family in a quieter setting.

Welcome Felix David

He's here! Felix David Rich, 7 lbs, 4 oz, 18.5" long. Born at 8:00 am on Monday, May 14th, 2012.

Yesterday morning I was up early to finish packing and stop for coffee before heading to Oregon. I thought it made it a little more of an adventure to travel to the baby, and a 1-hour drive across the state border was just the right amount. So much better than having to fly somewhere.

After arriving at the hospital, I entertained myself in the over-air conditioned hospital basement cafeteria while I awaited news. There was no WiFi and no outlets, so I mostly read my What to Expect in the First Year book and played Words With Friends. After about 2 hours, the agency coordinator called to say everything was good and I was invited up to the maternity floor to see him.

Felix was the only baby in the nursery and he was under a warming lamp. I wasn't sure what to do, so I took pictures. Then I asked the nurse if I could hold him, and she said yes, but she's new so she wasn't sure where I was supposed to sit down.

Then the birth mom was ready to meet us both. We spent quite a few hours in her room with the agency coordinator, hospital social worker and nurses. She asked a few questions like whether we're having a baby shower, whether I'd chosen a name yet, what my colors were (she likes green and brown, too), and whether I'd teach him Spanish (definitely).

Later the hospital assigned me to an empty room at no charge (woo hoo!), so we're on the same floor as the birth mom and I don't have to travel back and forth to a hotel. I hauled in our suitcases (which look like total overkill to anyone who doesn't know we'll have to stay in Oregon for a while), and got pretty well moved in.

Initially, the birth mom said she didn't want to hold the baby. Even though she's changed her mind about that, she has repeatedly asked the agency coordinator to reassure me she is NOT having second thoughts about the adoption. She says she's in a good place and is comfortable with her decision.

So, that about sums up Day 1!

It's Almost Time

What cat can resist a suitcase and soft blanket?

Just a few hours till I'll be on the road! Last I heard, our check-in time is 6:30 am, so I'll be up before the sun tomorrow morning. I have bags packed for myself and the kiddo, but it was tough considering I don't know how long I'll be there (3 days - 2 weeks) or how much he'll weigh, and the temps will range from 40 - 90 degrees. So I threw a little bit of everything into a couple of suitcases and called it good.

My coworkers surprised me with a baby shower at work on Friday - totally unexpected! Word of my baby registry leaked out so the gifts were just what I wanted, plus some super cute extras and a delicious cake with butter cream filling.

Overall I'm feeling ready, with the usual worries: Will he be healthy? Will she change her mind? Can I really do this on my own? And I'm still not sure exactly what to expect in the hospital with regard to where I'll sleep, eat, shower (?), how long they'll keep him, etc etc.

Tonight we're having a Mother's Day cookout and if my new pie recipe is a hit, I'll share it with everyone. (It's a super easy no-bake dessert.)

One More Weekend

With any luck, this will be my last weekend before becoming a mom. Tonight I'll be camping in the yard with my niece, and tomorrow and Sunday are shaping up to be pretty nice.

Last May, my niece and I sort of started a new tradition. Our Memorial Day weekend family camping trip was canceled due to snowfall in the mountains, so we camped in my back yard instead. I pulled out my little grill and we cooked all our meals over fire, we slept outside the whole night, and in the morning we opened the little tent window and told each other all about the animals we could see in my backyard, including alligators and tigers. Throughout the afternoon, evening and next morning, she kept saying “This is going to be SO much fun!”  

This year will be different because she’s all grown up at 5 years old, but I’m sure it will be just as fun. On Sunday, we have a variety of Mother’s Day activities and I’ll need to pack the car and buy a couple of last-minute items. Our hospital check-in time is 11:30am on Monday…eeks! So exciting.

Careful What You Wish For

As we get closer and closer to the 14^th, I’m finding it necessary to keep myself very busy to help the time pass. I had a long list of things to do last Saturday and every hour was planned out perfectly, ending with Cinco de Mayo dinner reservations at 7 pm.

I did lots of work around the house and didn’t go outside till after 11 am, at which point I discovered my home had been vandalized. In addition to my doorknob and lock being covered in peanut butter and honey (sort of funny), there was spray paint all over my garage door (not funny.) It said “NUTE GINGRICH” (sort of funny.)

So much for Saturday’s plans! I spent the next few hours filing a police report, speaking with local media and painting over the former presidential candidate’s name. On the plus side, it was a thorough distraction from the waiting game, and I’ve met more neighbors than ever before. They’ve all been very friendly and supportive, and equally surprised someone would do this in our neighborhood.

10 Days

I have this set of tiny adorable onesies, but I doubt they'll fit!

I spoke with the infant coordinator yesterday and everything continues to go well. There’s a good chance the boy will be 9 lbs. or more, so I probably don’t need to pack any of those teensy onesies that were handed down from cousin Hayden. 

The birth mom’s blood pressure has been a little elevated, but so far the doctor doesn’t think it’s serious enough to move up the c-section date. Today we should hear if he wants to run any additional tests before making the final call.

This weekend I need to clean my garage, my fridge and my upstairs closet that’s bursting with comforters and other large items. I’m also going to pick up some bottles and get a bag packed, just in case he decides to come early. The coordinator has ultrasound pics from last week’s appointment for me, but she wasn’t able to email them so she snail-mailed them. Hoping they’re in my mailbox tonight after work!