Questions, Assumptions and Advice

Six weeks old, watching me do my hair.

I thought I'd share some of the most common things I hear from complete strangers. Also known as, Things I'll Never Say to Other Parents.


He must be your first!
also
He's obviously not your first!
I hear these equally as often. How do I look/what do I do that makes someone think one way or the other? Beats me.


You should try a (their favorite baby carrier).
Only said after observing a happy Felix and comfortable me using our favorite carrier.

Are you going to have another one?
No thanks, I have to drive home. Wait, what? Omg I have no idea. Let's focus on the baby at hand, shall we?


You should hold him like this.
Said as though I'd been carrying him through JoAnn Fabrics by his feet.

Are you getting any sleep?
Really? You're asking me that.

Can I trade you?
Usually for a teenager, once for a crying 3-week old who looked a lot like Felix.


Watch out, I might steal him/eat him up!
I don't know you, therefore that is creepy.

He's so good!
Yes, I have him on a strict time discipline plan. He knows that if he doesn't behave in public, there will be no TV time and no going out this weekend.  

Here, have a blanket for the baby.
Offered to some friends and me, holding a happy Felix (who already had a blanket) outside in the shade in late June.

I just smile at the "stating the obvious" comments I get...people get a pass because it's human nature to exclaim such things about babies: He's so tiny! He has so much hair! He looks like a doll! He has beautiful skin! And I'm as guilty as they come. :)

Daycare Search Continues

Cats, babies, same diff.

Last week I posted "Infant Daycare Needed" signs at the local Starbucks, Albertsons and public library. Unfortunately only one person has called so far - she had a very hard time speaking English and was not a licensed daycare provider or certified in CPR/First Aid.

I also posted an ad on Craigslist, and most of the responses come from people who live very far away from the neighborhoods I clearly listed. Those who are in my area either have no experience, aren't licensed, or live with roommates and 4 dogs (or all of the above.) One woman without childcare experience told me she had, in fact, bottle-fed newborn kittens before.

I checked out the state's online list of licensed daycares, but either got no answer or was told they were out of business so far - working through the rest of the list this week.

For nannies and commercial daycares, I've been quoted $2, $6 and $18 per hour, also $14, $20, $25 and $37 per day, also $400, $450, $550 and $750 per month. Idaho has so few regulations, it's hard to tell who should really be charging what. Are they charging more because they're really "better", or just because their mortgage payment is higher? And am I better off with a monthly fee or daily fee?

I'm not totally freaking out because I have found a daycare I really like - they just won't have any openings until late August. I've also found a couple daycares I like outside my price range or too far from home and work, but I could deal with that for a few weeks if I don't have another choice.

Cookie of My Dreams

Last night I dreamed I made cookies with peaches, ginger and coconut. Today I threw together a recipe, and what do you know? Pretty darn delicious. Here it is:

 

4 small ripe peaches, peeled, pitted and diced

1/8 cup candied ginger, diced (WinCo bulk section)

1 teaspoon cinnamon

1/2 cup softened butter

3/4 cup sugar

3/4 cup shredded coconut

1 large egg

1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract

2 cups flour

3/4 teaspoon salt

1/2 teaspoon baking soda

Combine diced peaches, candied ginger and cinnamon and set aside. In a separate bowl, cream butter and sugar. Add egg and vanilla and mix thoroughly. Add flour, baking soda and salt and mix well (dough will be dry). Add peach mixture and coconut, stir carefully and let sit for about 5 minutes for peach juice to soften cookie dough. Stir again, then use a large spoon to drop 2-inch balls of dough onto a lightly greased cookie sheet, about 2 inches apart. Bake at 375 degrees for 11 – 13 minutes.

Burping the Cat

Monica knows it's warm where Felix sleeps.

I've never been much of a napper, and that hasn't changed now that Felix is here. There's just no way I can drop what I'm doing and fall asleep in the middle of the day. "Sleep when the baby sleeps" is not realistic advice. The only exception was one of our first days out of the hospital when I drank a double latte and immediately fell asleep in a noisy, bright living room while my parents visited.

So I've been powering through the days with coffee, fresh air and sunshine, (okay and Judge Judy) and waking with Felix every two hours, all night, every night. I can handle most of the feedings and diaper changes without fully waking up now, so that helps. But sometimes I can't remember if I just fed him (was it 4:02am today or was that last night?) So I look at the number of used vs. clean bottles on my nightstand to figure it out.

Often during those night feedings, my arms are way too tired to hold him up. So we lay on the bed while I feed him, and to burp him, I lay him on my chest and pat his back. We both nod off frequently during these activities, waking when I drop a bottle or he finally burps. Then I put him back in his rock-n-play sleeper for another 90 minutes.

A few nights ago I nodded off and woke up during a burping session. Sensing a warm, cuddly, approximately 10-pound being on my chest, naturally I reached up and started patting its back to continue burping. You can see where this is going. My poor kitty Monica had curled up to sleep on my chest and it turns out she did not need to be burped. She bolted off my chest and hid in the corner of the room while I got my bearings about me: feeding done, burping done, Felix sleeping in his bed. Sorry kitty!

So Much Stuff

The world is run by those who show up!

Earlier this week I decided to face the reality that I need to move Felix's stuff into the extra room (and give up the idea of having a roommate/extra income). I just can't keep his clothes in bags anymore and I sure don't expect someone to pay to live here right now, with diaper/bottle stations, bouncy chairs and baby gear upstairs and down. This means even more budget trimming until next spring, but I'm excited about the idea of actually having a baby room.

Felix will be 5 weeks old on Monday and it's time to schedule our first post-placement visit. They're usually done at 1, 3 and 5 months, then finalization of the adoption can happen (we're hoping for November.) To clarify, the birth mom has signed off and it's irrevocable...Felix technically belongs to the adoption agency until he's officially mine after all the post-placement visits and a court date. At that point he'll get a social security number, and we will get a birth certificate listing me as the mother, which is required to get him a passport.

Today I put Felix in a homemade Obama onesie and we spent a few hours volunteering at the Idaho State Democratic Convention. He was wide awake for much of it and charmed all the delegates. It was fun to see everyone, even though I can't participate all weekend like I have in the past.

And finally, daycare shopping started this week. I can't believe how different they all are. I also can't believe how dingy, cramped and smelly some of them are, with caretakers who look like they haven't showered in a week and have breast tattoos showing. All for the same price as clean, bright, organized daycares run by qualified, respectable individuals. My favorite one so far is full till the end of August, so we will keep looking.

Overdue for an Update!

Hungry Felix with cousins.

Hi friends, sorry I haven't updated sooner. We are home! We got back to Idaho late Friday, June 1st. My sister-in-law and niece and nephew came to meet Felix that night, my aunt flew to town for a 12-hour visit the next morning, and the baby shower was the day after that. Such a whirlwind weekend, and so great to be home and with friends and family.

Our baby shower was amazing. Friends old and new came to meet the baby and celebrate with us. My sisters-in-law did a fantastic job decorating my friend Cindy's house and organizing everything from food and drinks to hilarious games (like melted candy poo in diapers and chugging beer from baby bottles.) The weather was the perfect warm Idaho June day you'd expect this time of year.

Everywhere I go with Felix, people comment on how tiny he is, how cute/precious/adorable he is and how great I look (still - even though he's almost a month old.) I feel kinda bad getting credit for making a cute baby and looking good doing it, but I learned before just to smile and say thanks!

Jayda continues to be great and the cats even adjusted quickly without getting ornery or peeing in strange places. They ran from the room when he cried the first day, but by day 3, both were back sleeping on the bed like nothing had changed. One of the cats even curled up on his lap in the bouncy chair today. He was quiet and she probably just figured it was a heated cat bed. (Thankfully she's just an 8-lb cat.)

Three weeks and five days old.

And Felix himself is growing like crazy, of course. He's eating every 2 hours around the clock. From a low of 6 lbs. 9 oz. after his jaundice treatment, he weighed in at 8 lbs. 8 oz. at his appointment Thursday. There's even a hint of chubby thighs and baby boobies coming in. He works hard to lift his head often, makes lasting eye contact with me often, and has taken an interest in moving and high-contrast items like bright windows, ceiling fans, mobiles, and even fireworks on TV.

It's hard to believe that 4 weeks of my leave are already gone! Three to go, and so much to do before I go back full time.