Plenty of Christmas

My first few years in college, the holidays were disappointing. Suddenly it would be Thanksgiving or Christmas and 24 hours later it would all be over. I couldn't figure out why they were so anticlimactic compared to my childhood.

Eventually I realized it was because there was no build up to the big day. As a kid, you have school projects, special rehearsals and programs, church pageants, tree decorating and all kinds of things before the actual holiday. On my own, it was just school and work every day until the actual holiday came around. I definitely wasn't making sugar cookies and I don't think I ever had a Christmas tree of my own.

So for the past few years I've made an effort to participate in all kinds of holiday events in order to fully take in the season. This year Felix and I did all kinds of fun stuff, from a "Welcome Santa" party at the mall to house parties and lots of family get-togethers. We hosted a dessert party and make afternoons out of things like getting a Christmas tree, or going out to lunch after shopping all morning.

When Christmas Eve rolled around, we were definitely ready for crab legs and opening presents and the chaos of a full house. We're up to 7 adults, 4 kids and 3 dogs, and the whole two-day affair was funny and exhausting, a never-ending rotation of eating, pictures, gifts, games, movies and naps. And removing things from toddler mouths.

I took the 26th off and got to work cleaning the garage to make room for my new treadmill, purchased on consignment for a steal. (Yep, yet another plan for getting regular exercise.) I sorted through Felix's toys and weeded out a few to donate and a few to store for "next time". I'm so ready for the new year and getting this place in order to sell this spring! And all because we got plenty of Christmas.

Handsome boys! Felix insisted on wearing his tie.

Christmas Eve with my boy.

In their coordinating Christmas jammies. My dad called them Thing 1 and Thing 2.

Bike from Santa! Felix grabbed the bike handles, threw one leg over and started walking. He made it about 2 feet.

Updated to add: Felix's new words this month are tree, snow, bike, boots, bite and mine. He also started shaking his head for yes, gives smacky kisses, and pats the spot next to him when he wants someone or a pet to sit next to him.

Snow and Swim

With our shopping done and the semester over, Felix and I had today wide open. We took our time with breakfast (left over apple cobbler counts as a healthy breakfast, right?), then went upstairs to sort through his clothes.

At one point, Felix decided he wanted to wear his snow boots. For the past 3 months he's been refusing, so I quickly put them on before he could change his mind. Then I put on my own boots and took him to the second-floor patio off my bedroom, which had quite a few inches of fresh snow on it. We were both still in pajamas and he quickly learned how fun it was to stomp and kick the snow, and I showed him how to throw snowballs, which we did bare-handed for the next 15 or 20 minutes. The dog even came out and jumped around and snapped at our snowballs, adding to the sight I'm sure we were. Felix was adorable with his skinny legs, Buddha belly, penguin jammies and big boots. (I didn't get any pictures because my phone was downstairs and I couldn't tear myself away from the moment.)

After lunch I decided we should go swimming at the local Y. We did a few lessons last winter and swam a few times this summer, but I guess he forgot how much he loved it. As soon as we were in the water, he freaked a little bit and had a death grip on me. For the first 5 minutes I couldn't even move him to my other hip because he was so scared. So I did the warm up song we learned last year, and little by little he relaxed. By the end of our session he was back floating with his ears in the water, front floating and paddling with arms, kicking his legs, and jumping off the edge of the pool into my arms! (As much as he can "jump" at this age.) I couldn't believe it. And he had the hugest grin on his face the entire time.We will definitely have to go more often so he doesn't forget his love of the water before next summer.

No pictures of swimming, either, so I'll post this one of us at lunch yesterday. He stared at the camera for the first few shots, then very deliberately made this face:

Bathroom Makeover: After Pics

Today was my self-imposed deadline to have the bathroom project done, and I met it by about 45 minutes. My mom came early for my pie party and helped me get the frame put together and hung.

The counter top is far from perfect - you can see brush strokes where the light hits it - but it's still way better than the original.

So, here are the before and afters! I'm loving the new look.

Original counter top from 1977, after I tiled the floor in 2008.

The first refinish was coated with Polyacrylic and it yellowed and stained almost immediately.

 

This month, before painting or adding mirror frame; counter top partially re-refinished.

Done! New color on the walls, counter top and mirror frame painted and sealed.

The mirror frame is hung on the mirror with some little J-shaped brackets from Home Depot.

Lovely Long Weekend

Felix and I had a pretty near perfect Thanksgiving weekend. It was so nice to lounge around the house 4 mornings in a row - what a luxury!

Eating french toast while wrapped in two beloved blankies.

My family put together the most delicious Thanksgiving dinner ever, and afterwards we hung around and talked, drank wine, watched movies and ate pie until way past (the toddlers') bedtime. Felix didn't care for any part of the Thanksgiving meal except grandpa's homemade cranberry sauce and grandma's cherry pie, both of which he devoured like an animal. 

Pre-nap attempt at a cousin Christmas card photo.

My Black Friday strategy has always been to venture out around 10 AM when all the crazies have gone home to nap. It paid off again this year, and I got lots of great deals on stuff I really wanted/needed to buy anyway, and the lines were short. On Saturday I shopped locally and found more great gifts, and met up with a friend for lunch. Felix was amazingly patient and entertained by his food, so we had plenty of time to chat.

On Saturday we also bought our first real Christmas tree. I was pretty proud of myself for driving home (verrrrrry slowly), unloading the tree and getting it inside. Felix helped me put the three stand together, then ate a mini candy cane in his high chair while I decorated. After he went to bed, I wrapped a bunch of gifts and the whole place looked and smelled very Christmasy.

"You're putting a tree up there? You're brave!" said the tree lot guy.

I also found time to clean the house, finish sealing the bathroom counter top, and buy, paint and miter frame parts for the large mirror. Felix was very observant and wanted to help every step of the way. He thought the miter box was especially cool.

Yes, by the end of the long weekend I was feeling a bit like Super Mom. The feeling was short-lived however, as the Christmas tree tipped over Monday morning and I found myself cleaning, rewrapping soaked gifts, arranging lights and decorating all over again (only after my parents came by to get the tree straight and steady again. Story for another time.)

The boys dancing to my simple rendition of Deck the Halls.

November Crud

I woke up with a mild sore throat and stuffiness on Monday, but figured it was due to sanding my bathroom counter top without using a mask. I felt fine otherwise, but ended up battling sinus junk all week. All the mouth breathing gave me chapped lips and a canker sore, and when I finally broke down and used nasal spray, it made my throat burn and ruined my sense of smell. And by then my nose was raw and peeling underneath too. Wah.

On Wednesday night, Felix developed some weird rashiness and hives on his face. His well baby appointment was the next morning (100th percentile for head size!) but the doctor was pretty sure the stuff on his face was not an allergy. It got worse over the weekend and nothing seemed to help. He was fussy and irritable and the only time he was quiet was while sleeping or taking a bath. I tried gentle lotion, no lotion, homeopathic allergy medication, OTC allergy medication, warm air, cold air, hydrocortisone cream, ibuprofen, etc.

 Hard to see on some screens, but he had hives all around his right eye, and his entire forehead had swelled up in addition to rashiness on his cheeks and around his mouth.

It was exhausting trying to keep him content and get work done. He's not interested in TV which is fine, except it would have come in really handy. We worked from home Friday due to an illness at daycare, and I'd planned on painting the bathroom this weekend (done!) and had tons of errands to run. We plowed through, and both nights I sort of collapsed on my parents' couch with a beer while Felix was distracted by grandpa and his cousin. SMCs who do this without family nearby are either extra brave, crazy or both!

This afternoon I tried a layer of hydrocortisone cream followed by Aquaphor and finally saw some improvement in Felix's face. His mood improved right away, so even though he hadn't been rubbing or scratching his face, it must have been bothering him. I read that some cold viruses can cause hives, so for now I'm blaming it on that. Everything else has been ruled out.

Anyway, I'm glad we're both on the mend just in time for Thanksgiving. We nearly missed it last year due to illness, and I'm hoping we don't make a tradition out of this November crud.

Another Sitter Rant

This will be my 3rd blog post whining about flaky babysitters. I just can't believe how hard it's been to find someone!

About a month ago, I went through Craigslist ads and responded to quite a few sitters who had included pictures of themselves, said they were experienced and CPR/first aid certified. One came to meet us and seemed great, but had to be reminded over and over to send me her references (none of whom called me back), and then she hasn't remembered to check her schedule and let me know if she's available on the nights I'd need her. She's in her early 20s and has a crappy mall job (I'd be paying her more per hour), so I don't know why she can't get it together.

A couple other sitters never replied to my emails, another who was supposed to meet us canceled at the last second, and others responded to one email but then fizzled after that.

I wonder if they just have really lousy work ethics? Is that why they can't keep another job and are posting on Craigslist looking for work?

Regardless, I find myself with at least 3 holiday events and no sitters at this point. I can ask my family, but I'd really prefer to pay someone to come to my house so I don't have to drive around and pick up a sleeping kid at 11 PM.

New Things

Felix's abilities to help and understand are really blossoming right now. He feeds the pets every night (I scoop it out, he pours) and can go through all the steps of putting a new garbage bag in the kitchen can and putting it back under the sink. He still loves to rotate the laundry and start the dryer, and loves closing the garage door when we get home. His chest really does puff a little when he's done with each task - he's so darn proud of himself! And I dream of the day that I don't have to do everything myself the second I walk in the door after work.

He also understood some instructions I totally wasn't expecting:
"Let's get a new shirt out of the dryer." (He got down from his chair and walked straight to the dryer.)
"Do you want milk? Get your cup out of the living room." (He waded through all his toys and returned a minute later with the exact cup he'd had earlier in the day.)
"Let's change your diaper first." (He left and came right back with a new diaper.)

He noticed me gathering stray dirty diapers and putting them in a plastic bag, and contributed a couple of dried out baby wipes. It was pretty cool he understood what we were throwing away, when a few months ago he would've been just as likely to hand me a block or shoe.

And our big win of the week has to do with the ride at the grocery store. He used to throw a fit when we walked by (on our way in AND out, even if he'd already ridden it), and when I let him ride it, he'd throw a fit when it was over. But this week when the ride stopped, he reached for the shopping cart and happily got back in! I couldn't believe it.

Extreme Makeover: Bathroom Edition

Before Felix was born, I refinished my bathroom counter tops. They were a hideous brown swirl pattern and the last thing that really gave away the age of my townhouse.

The process was fast and easy and the result looked great...for about a month. Then the stain-resistant guaranteed-not-to-yellow Polycrylic sealant picked up makeup stains and yellowed to a horrid urine color. Ugh. I emailed the company and got my $15 back, but what about all that work?

So this weekend I sanded off the nasty sealant layer, started to repaint the counter top, and decided to replace the large mirror and repaint the whole bathroom while I'm at it, considering I never did like the wall color I chose.

I've had a "how to" blog in draft mode for 19 months, so here are some pictures of the process.

Before

Brown swirl pattern.

Pretty proud of my caulk lines. Older laminate tops often start to separate at the seams, so paintable caulking helps them look new.

It took 4 coats of high-quality primer to cover the brown.

I taped off everything that wasn't counter and spray painted it with an off-white textured color by Rustoleum.

I'll have current before/afters soon, because I started this project knowing I'm hosting a holiday party in just under 3 weeks. I'm toilet training the cats downstairs (seriously) so guests will have to use the upstairs bath. I can tell the stress of transition has worn off because I'm back to projects!

Holiday Prep

Yesterday a friend shared a link to $5 potato head toys on Amazon. But they were only $5 if you bought a larger item, so I ended up buying a large item for Felix for Christmas. It wasn't exactly an impulse buy...I'd read reviews, thought about colors, compared prices and knew which features I wanted. I just hadn't planned on actually buying it any time soon. But consumer behavior is funny, and a $5 potato head pushed me over the edge. Amazon sure knows what it's doing.

I got all weirdly emotional and grateful when I was able to just add it to my cart and buy it. And now I can't wait for Christmas morning when he gets to see it! I didn't spend an insane amount, but it's definitely the most I've ever spent on a gift for him, or maybe anyone.

I also ordered our holiday cards yesterday
and hope they turn out as cute as they looked online. Groupon has a super $20 deal for Zazzle right now, so check it out if you want to order cards.

And, I may have found another evening and weekend sitter so I can enjoy a few holiday parties. She's really nice and down to earth, and has daycare experience. I just need to follow up with her references, then it's time to bust out the ugly sweaters.

Toddlerrific Tuesday

Felix was in one heck of a mood tonight. It started with not being able to wear Amaya's purple velvet boots home from daycare (she clung to the baby gate and sobbed while he tried to put them on), and the fussiness continued all the way home. Crying, frustrated outbursts, emphatic "NoooOOs" even when I hadn't asked a question, pointing and wanting things and never being satisfied.

At home, he refused to get into his high chair for dinner, then refused to let me take his shirt off. So he ate on his own terms and after a couple of bites, decided it was time to fling food and throw himself from his high chair. Exhausted, I looked at the clock at it was only 5:50. Ugh.

So I pulled out my mommy tricks - ibuprofen, fruit pouch, bath. Almost instantly he was calm and happy. He even offered me a "Cheers!" from the tub.

Nice save, mom!

He was really needy the rest of the evening, so I sat on the living room floor while he played with toys on my lap, and around 7:30 he went to bed without a peep. The books tell me being a toddler is exhausting, and I believe it.

Babble

I started keeping a list of Felix's words around 15 1/2 months, and he has lots. But I noticed a few weeks ago he doesn't use most of them very often. Instead, he's started speaking long "sentences" of total babble that don't have any identifiable words in them. He has different intonations when he's reading a book, upset about something, or asking me a question, so he clearly thinks he's communicating. It's pretty cute.

I posted a question in my online birth club and lots of other moms said they've noticed the same thing, so I'm not worried. He's also started signing "please", shaking his head no, and he figured out how to blow bubbles and roll his tongue, so those have to be good signs for speech development.

A few of the words he does use regularly are hi, bye, Jayda (dog), truck, dog, and as of yesterday, no. The dreaded no! He doesn't say his own name yet, but he pats his own belly and then points to it when I ask "Where is Felix?" He also recognizes himself in the month-by-month photo frame on his dresser and on my picture coffee cup. He gets a really sweet, huge grin when he looks at pictures of "baby Felix".

Practicing the tongue roll.

Endings and Beginnings (and Endings)

Last Friday afternoon I wrapped up at my old job, packed my car and drove straight to my new job. I surprised myself by getting a little emotional when I said goodbye, but I figure that's proof it was a great company and great group of people, and I wouldn't have left for just any old offer.

Things are going great at the new job. Lots to do, interesting stuff, fun people, and I have pretty much total autonomy (no 10-step process to fix a website typo). I'm excited to get through the little things and start thinking bigger picture by the beginning of next year.

Felix also started his new bilingual preschool Friday. Thankfully he was excited to go inside and play, so I didn't worry about him for one moment. I didn't get a lot of details when I picked him up because a Dia de los Muertos party was in full swing,  but one lady said he only slept for an hour during naptime and then woke everyone else up. Sounds about right! He is not used to napping on mats.

Firetruck!

The invoice I received for November was higher than I was expecting, but I chalked that up to an erroneous holiday charge and waited to hear back before paying it. Turns out, the pricing I had been planning on for the past 6 months was incorrect. Their website was out of date and wrong in two places, and the actual daily rate is significantly higher than I was expecting. Ugh! It's also more than double what I pay at his home daycare.

Technically I could afford to pay the higher rate for just one day per week (the initial plan), but transitioning him to full time would be out of the question. And I'm not sure it's worth it. His age group only has 2 1/2 structured hours, and the rest is free play, naps and meals like any other daycare. So, I've decided not to continue with the school at this time. Disappointed doesn't begin to describe how I feel! There are no other bilingual options in town, so I'm going to have to get serious about learning at home and with family.

Helping me sweep leaves off the balcony. He loves to participate.

Happy Halloween!

Fix-It Felix and Wreck-It Ralph before trick-or-treating.

It took us 30 minutes to stop at 4 houses, but the boys had a great time.

Distractions (and T42?!)

With the big job transition just around the corner, I’ve been in need of more distractions than usual. Thankfully the weather has been gorgeous and the trees spectacular, so Felix and I have enjoyed lots of time outdoors.

We visited a pumpkin patch a couple weekends ago and Felix was most excited about big trucks on the freeway first. Then he warmed up to the place and had a great time riding trains, petting animals and playing in the corn box. I asked another parent to take our photo and had a mini panic attack when I realized that if I go according to my plan B, I will be doing another home study before next October and THESE pictures will be part of my profile. Ahh! I am so not ready for that. (Plan A was to start again when Felix turned two, but the desire for a bigger house and life with a toddler pushed back the timeline to at least next fall.)

Look mom, trucks!

The corn box - challenging but fun.

Riding to the pumpkin patch.

Running away from the camera.

We also took a long walk on the greenbelt, and I could have spent the whole time taking pictures of the trees. Instead I decided to put away my phone and just enjoy it. I finally broke down and took just a couple of pics at the end when Felix was playing in the leaves. He knows when the camera is out and sometimes looks away and shakes his head "no", so I'm trying to keep the annoying mom habits to a minimum.

Last weekend we went to Baker City for a friend’s college graduation and Halloween party. (The same family we stayed with when Felix was a newborn.) Andrea went all-out decorating the house and coming up with freaky ways to serve food, and we had a great time! Felix wasn’t scared of any of it – he walked right up to a skull and said “Hi!” I consider this an accomplishment because he was scared when Halloween costumes first hit the stores, but I stopped to play peek-a-boo with the scary masks and little by little, he associated them with fun and games.

Fix-It Felix and Lois Griffin. He traded his hat for Stewie.

Another friend and her two kids were in Baker as well, so we had big sleepovers two nights in a row, breakfast together in the mornings, and I had babysitters on hand all weekend. On Saturday we moms sipped lattes and walked the quaint downtown shopping thrift and antique stores. Then we took pictures of each other’s families in the park (I’m saving my favorite for our holiday card). That night we had dinner at a brew pub, then played darts and had another drink at the new brewery across the street. It was a long, tiring day, and we were all home by 9:15. Ha.

My dad loves this pic because it reminds him just how small Felix is.

Mara (13) did an excellent job taking care of Felix and going through his bedtime routine. She prides herself on having “changed his diapers since he was newborn” and was able to tell when he was tired and ready for bed. She even had the sense to swap his empty milk cup for a stuffed animal when he started to cry, then read him a couple of stories and put him to bed. He slept soundly on his own all night.

Now I'm ready to get through my last few days at work so I can get into a new routine before the holidays!

Getting Organized

At Work
I have 8 full days left at my current job and they haven't posted my position yet. So there's little chance I'll be around to help interview, and no chance I'll be there to train the new person. This really stressed me out for a couple of days, then I had to just let go.

On Friday my coworkers scheduled a one-hour training session to become more familiar with the programs I use on a daily basis. They had pained looks on their faces by the end, realizing it would not be an easy task to just pick up where I left off "while" I'm gone, as my manager worded it. (Almost like he's thinking of it as another maternity leave, and you may remember I worked part-time throughout my leave.) Anyway, letting go.

I was invited to teach again this spring, but declined. I took the job for career growth and extra income, which I don't feel I will need with the new job. But, I do enjoy teaching and won't rule it out for the future.

At Home
I spent some time this weekend organizing my MacBook and iPhone. My desktop was covered in so many icons, there was no screen space left and they were piling on top of each other sometimes 10 deep. I'm stuck in this outdated cycle where I can't use Firefox or Chrome or upgrade flash because my operating system is too old. I can't sync my iPhone because iTunes is out of date, but I can't update it until I have the new operating system. I couldn't upgrade my phone's iOS because there were too many pictures on my phone, but my computer is really slow and not able to download my pics from the iPhone without freezing.

I had more than 5,000 photos on my iPhone dating back to before Felix was born. Photos on my computer dated back to 2010. Obviously technology has not been a priority over the past couple of years.

I ordered the new operating system for my MacBook on eBay, but there's a chance my computer is too old to run it. It is - GASP - 6 years old. The new OS was only $30 because it's been out so long. I also bought an external drive to backup my photos and other files before upgrading, but get this - I can't use the drive until I update my OS! Arrgh.

I love Macs, but I hate how expensive and time consuming it is to stay current. They're *this close* to losing me as a customer after nearly 15 years of dedication. If my computer can't run the new OS, it's going to be virtually worthless.

Proud Papa
As I toiled away on my computer most of yesterday, Felix was enjoying his new role as papa. One morning last week, I checked on him in his room and found him trying to feed a dirty, naked, one-handed baby doll that used to be mine. It was so cute! I figure he learned from watching his daycare provider with a new baby she watches. So I decided to get him his own baby doll with bottle, and he took to her immediately. She went with us everywhere yesterday. He loves to cuddle her, feed her, burp, her, then poke her in the eye and body slam her.

You Can't Prove Anything

This afternoon we went to a new park. The only other kids at the playground were three girls, ranging in age from about 10 - 15.

The youngest girl told the others, "My mom's in prison for 3 years, and my dad's in jail." They didn't act surprised or ask why. They went on to talk about how "bad" their houses were, comparing who had the smallest, who rented apartments and who rented "a real house". Another girl said they only had a one-bedroom apartment, so her mom and step dad put her bed in the living room. The girl with the real house conceded it was tiny and not very good.

They also talked about who was the poorest. The oldest girl said that the (raggedy) outfit she had on was "my nicest outfit" and named where she got each piece - all hand-me-down or thrift store. None of the conversation seemed to be for pity or shock value, and there was no melodrama. It was just normal conversation.

At one point, Felix wanted to walk across a large grassy area. I could still see my purse and Jayda leashed to the park bench, so I kept an eye on them while we walked. As we got farther away, I noticed the girls milling around my purse and it made me nervous, so I picked up Felix and headed back.

Then I noticed the girls petting Jayda, and suddenly she was off leash and running like a bat out of hell across the park. I managed to catch her and looked up toward the girls. Their reaction surprised me. They immediately turned their backs and started to wander off in three different directions, as though they hadn't seen what happened (let alone possibly caused it).

I was kneeling with one hand on Jayda's collar and Felix on my hip, both squirming like mad. I hollered to the girls, "BRING ME HER LEASH!" They looked surprised and then quickly worked together to get it off the bench and bring it to me. They sort of weakly explained "She just suddenly got loose..." Which I believe, because her leash has come apart in the past.

Maybe I'm reading too much into it, but I wonder if the girls' reaction is the product of growing up with adults who don't take responsibility for themselves. "I'll just turn my back and maybe the problem will go away..." I would expect anyone, upon accidentally releasing a dog from its leash, to try and catch it. I'd even expect most people to help a mom struggling with a toddler and a loose dog, regardless of how the situation came about. But for some reason, these girls decided the best plan was to pretend it never happened. Huh.

Jayda snoozing in the back seat after a camping trip earlier this summer.

  
For the record, I asked my friend's 13 year old daughter what she'd do if she accidentally let a stranger's dog off leash, and she said she'd call the dog and try to get it to come back. 

Jayda has a strong prey drive and is very difficult to catch! See her run in this short video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OrJm2bfZbRg

I Am Who I Am

It’s a big week here. Felix has passed the self-awareness test! This means he fully understands he is his own person, and he knows he’s looking at himself in a mirror (not some other friendly kid). He has a pumpkin headband he loves to play with, and I noticed he was looking at his reflection in the sliding glass door to make sure he put it on straight. Then last night, he put it on and pointed to the mirror so I’d hold him up. When he saw his reflection, he reached up to his own head to adjust the headband.

Hey handsome!

It’s neat watching such a simple brain function kick in – just 2 weeks ago he didn’t realize he was looking at himself. According to a few sources, about 50% of toddlers will be self-aware by 18 months, and 65% by 24 months. If you have a little one in this age range, Google “self-awareness tests” for some fun ways to test.

In other growing-up news, Felix is starting his bilingual preschool on November 1st. He’ll go one day a week to start, and I’m excited for him to start having a little more structure in his schedule. Don’t get me wrong, cars are great! But I’m sure he will enjoy something other than playing with cars for 6 hours at daycare and another 2 or 3 hours at home.

Change is in the Air

It was a whirlwind of a week. On Monday, I interviewed for a Director of Marketing and Communications position. On Monday afternoon, I was called back for a second interview. Wednesday, about 90 seconds after leaving the second interview, I was offered the position. Yeah!

The offer was contingent upon my current employer providing a positive reference, which I knew would not be a problem. It meant I had to rush back to the office, break the news I’d be leaving after more than 3 ½ years, and then put my boss in touch with the new employer. It felt a little “fake”, making all these big plans before the news had really sunk in. But it’s real, and my start date is November 4th. My coworkers gave me lots of congrats and a few asked if I'd been headhunted, which I took as a compliment.

I could not be more excited about this opportunity. It’s exactly what I was looking for in terms of career advancement, with a fantastic organization I’ve been familiar with for years. The type of work, the hours, the location, the benefits, everything is great. I’ll also be working alongside women more senior than myself, which will be a first for me. Hard to believe, isn’t it? Or maybe not so much. 

The stars really aligned this time. The guy who left the position put in a good word for me during his exit interview. He and I met through his wife about 4 years ago when I was volunteering on a local community health initiative. Also, I tried a new resume format which allowed me to highlight accomplishments without making the reader go through all my work history. 

Coincidentally, the new employer recently hired an ad agency led by someone I worked with in advertising about 5 years ago, and he also put in a good word for me after my first interview. Finally, I will have two salespeople who report to me, so it was perfect to be able to mention I teach a Professional Selling course, and I was able to answer their hypothetical sales questions well. I couldn’t have scripted a better combination of events.

My coworkers jokingly asked if I was going to bail right away, and I answered honestly – I wouldn’t be able to sleep at night if I did that! I’m definitely feeling the rush to tie things up at my current job so I don’t leave them hanging, and I had a couple of crappy nights of sleep this week as a result. Today I’m finally able to slow down, organize, and look forward without worrying. I hope they/we hire my replacement soon so I can spend a few days getting the new person up to speed. 

Tomorrow Felix and I are going to the pumpkin patch with our Babies & Tots group. I scheduled a weekend outing for working parents and we have 10 signed up, so it should be lots of fun.

Not eating cat food. Just watching...I promise.

He has the smiliest eyes.

Walk to the Park

Our closest neighborhood park is 1.3 miles from the house, on the other side of a 5-lane avenue that makes us go 4 blocks out of our way to reach a crosswalk. Sometimes after dinner, I’ll load up Felix and the dog and walk over so we can all get a little exercise and fresh air.

After crossing the biggest street, the neighborhood we have to walk through is quite a sight. It’s made of about one-third updated, beautiful old homes, and about two-thirds (what look like) meth labs and random garages with chain-link fenced front yards and “BEWARE OF DOG” signs.

Taken from Google images because I didn't want to pull out my camera!

The typical passerby is a grown man in a dirty tank top riding a boy’s bike, cigarette dangling from one hand. Or someone walking suspiciously slowly down the street, like they’re out of it or up to no good (or both). Then just as I start to think maybe I shouldn’t have walked, I’ll be greeted by a lovely lady working in her perfect garden, wearing a cute coordinated outfit and smiling from ear to ear.

As we move through the neighborhood, we set off all the dogs. Chihuahuas go crazy scraping at the windows to get at us; pit bull types charge their chain link fences with warning barks. And there’s always a little white stubby-legged dog, off-leash, that runs to the sidewalk throwing a massive fit with all his might. But he backs up a little with each bark, so I figure he’s more scared of us than we are of him.

Finally we make it to the next major crossroad, and it’s like another world. There’s a large Mormon church surrounded by a perfectly manicured lawn and cute homes. When we get to the park, it’s full of soccer moms and organized sports and kids playing tag on the playground.

Felix always  has a great time playing on the toys and meeting other kids, but we rarely have more than 15 minutes before we have to head back so we can get home before dark. It's always quite the adventure.

The Wrong Kind of Praise

This weekend Felix and I were thrift store shopping when we ran into an acquaintance we hadn’t seen since last spring. She was working so we chatted briefly about Halloween costumes and the perfect Fix-It Felix shoes I’d just found for $2. She leaned down to Felix and told him how big he was getting, then got a really serious tone in her voice and said to me, “Well, good for you. Really, it’s just so great you’re doing this.”

At first I thought, Umm, most parents shop for their kids’ Halloween costumes…then I realized she meant the adoption. Almost like I’d volunteered to dog walk for the local shelter, or collect cans of food for the food bank. I didn’t know what to say so I just sort of ended the conversation with a smile and “Well, good to see you!”

Later that night, someone shared a related blog post in my online adoption group. There’s a “Christian Adoption Movement” that has backfired in some ways. For example, parents wanting to save children from poverty in Guatemala led to healthy, wanted infants being stolen from their mothers and sold on the black market, which eventually led to ban on U.S. residents adopting from Guatemala. The author sort of vents and doesn’t make her case clearly in some areas, but the general sentiment is correct. People should adopt because they want to be parents, not because they want to “save” a child from the life he or she was born into. When parents go into savior mode, they are often disappointed by the lack of reverence and gratitude the “saved” children display.

I think some hopeful adoptive parents feel selfish saying they want to adopt simply because they want a child. They feel like they should have other motivating factors (like saving a sick or unwanted child from poverty), and this makes them feel like they should be open to any type of child or birth situation, even the ones truly outside their comfort zones. And then you end up with extreme cases of older children being returned to their home countries because the adoptive parents couldn’t cope, and couldn’t figure out why their love wasn’t enough to overcome.

I didn’t save Felix from anything. I don’t consider his adoption a charitable action, and it makes me really uncomfortable to receive praise for it. I adopted because I wanted to be a parent, and I had very specific limits on situations I would consider. I definitely had to get over the guilt factor of excluding certain situations on my agency application, but I’m glad I was honest with myself and didn’t fall into the “savior trap”. Felix’s birth mom was unbelievably strong and generous to place him with me. She never said why, just that she knew he’d be in good hands (her words). I figure she knew she was at her limit with regard to parenting, probably from a resource standpoint. But she wasn’t homeless or crazy or a teenager or any of the other things people might assume about birth moms. It was her choice to place him, and there was no shortage of love for him.

So, what is the right kind of praise to give an adoptive parent? The same kind of praise you’d give any other parent. Tell me about how sweet my son is around babies, how he pointed out that airplane you totally would have missed, how it’s amazing (and I’m lucky) that he can sleep anywhere, or how patient and quiet he was on the airplane, or bus or while waiting in line for the Space Needle. Tell me you’re impressed by the fact that we eat dinner together (almost) every night and my son has clean clothes every day, even when I’m wearing my work-provided logo shirt because I’m out of clean laundry. Those are the times I will smile and say “Thanks!” 

You can check out the aforementioned post here: http://rachelsblatherings.blogspot.com/2011/06/so-you-want-to-adopt-please-dont.html

Mini Updates

Running – Felix has been practicing running lately. He’ll find something soft like the couch or a blanket, then “run” as fast as he can toward it until he crashes. It’s funny and he’s happily exhausted after about half an hour. Sometimes he’ll run and crash into me instead.

No time for pictures, gotta run!

Independence – More than a week ago, Felix decided he doesn’t need me to rock him to sleep anymore. After brushing teeth and reading stories, he gets squirmy and pushes off me. So I started laying him in his bed where he stretches out and falls asleep without a peep.

Moving – Listing my house has been postponed another 6 months. Financially things are good, but I hope to be even better off this spring. I’m also concerned with the lack of inventory right now (there are virtually no houses I’m excited about) and a neighbor has been trying to sell his place for a couple of months with no luck. Granted,his townhouse smells like cigarette smoke, but I still feel like the market has slowed down as it always does this time of year.

Cleaning – I cleaned and “staged” every room last week to get listing photos while the trees are still green, and decided to start a cleaning schedule as well. So far, so good. It’s nice to come home and know I only have to tackle one room because the others will get their turns. Before, I’d go into cleaning mode and end up in a never-ending night of laundry and dishes with Felix feeling ignored. We’ll see how long it lasts. I also bought a Groupon and scheduled the company to come next week and do a deep clean in the kitchen and bathrooms. 

School – Class continues to go really well. I think I accidentally chose the perfect time to start teaching. The days are getting shorter, so I’m more likely to want to stay indoors after work, and Felix goes to bed around 8, leaving me with plenty of time to prep lessons and grade papers. I’m getting to know my students better and I’m figuring out how to fill class time and keep them interested. Last week we analyzed the sales pitches in an episode of Shark Tank and some students actually high-fived each other when I announced what we’d be doing that day.

Halloween – I’ve decided to be Lois Griffin for Halloween this year. Two years ago I couldn’t decide between Lois and Meg, but went as Meg, which was a huge hit. I found an awesome Stewie doll to carry around and it will be here in a few days. Felix is going as Fix-It Felix and his cousin will be Wreck-It Ralph from the Disney movie. Now we just need to line up some parties so we can wear our costumes more than once.

Hanging out at the mall playground.

Bonus Summer Days

All is well here. So many friends and fellow SMCs are dealing with unfair sh*t right now, I think I'm developing a form of survivor's guilt. It seems frivolous to post about "nothing", but I'm very thankful all I have is nothing!

After a summer of record heat (70 days over 90 degrees), it continues to be very warm here. The air has cleared from earlier fires, so I've been able to get out for more bike rides and walks in the evenings. Felix and I have enjoyed a number of days where we drive downtown, park, and wander the city for a good part of the day. Between festivals, markets and sporting events, there's always something to do.

My parents got us a ticket to the game Friday night, and we had a blast! It started out hot, hot, hot, rained during halftime, and ended with a gorgeous dark blue sky (and a big win for BSU.) Felix did amazingly well, sitting patiently with us and even napping during the first quarter. Seriously, the kid can sleep anywhere.

Grandma was there too, my arm just wasn't long enough!

Grandpa putting a hoodie on a rain-soaked Felix.

No filters needed when you live in Boise.

I also took Felix bowling for the first time this weekend, and after pushing the ball once, he wanted nothing to do with it. Every time it was his turn, he'd melt into a whiny pile in my arms and refuse to go near the ball. He spent his time toddling around the video arcade and eating tater tots. Hmm. Who knows! Maybe we'll try again in 6 months.

I'm still on the fence about selling my house, but will decide during the last week of September whether to list now or in the spring. There are pros and cons either way, but this weekend I cleaned, staged and started taking pictures while there are still leafy trees outside the windows. Just two rooms (and the uninspired exterior) left and I can check that off my list.

Eating a muffin with a fork - he asks for silverware at every meal now.

And finally, in a remarkably quick turn of events, my friend with breast cancer is 99.9% cancer free! :) She's going through some radiation to reduce the odds of recurrence, but no further surgery or treatment will be required. If you need some motivation to stay on top of your own breast health, check out her latest post. (My mammogram came back a-okay, fyi.)