Second Class Babies for Second Class Moms

I spoke with someone at A New Beginning adoption agency today, and the good news is, it would cost $1000 less to get started with them instead of CASI. 

The reason? They don't allow single women into their "Infant Waiting List" adoption program. I'd only be welcome in the "Trans-racial Program" and they charge less for that. (Given the names, one would think non-white babies aren't "infants"). It doesn't make a difference to me what race of child I adopt, but it's shocking they're so openly segregating me based on my marital status and the babies based on their races.

Who are they to say white birth parents wouldn't choose me? And who are they to say a black birth mom wouldn't choose a white married couple? In fact, they might even be encouraging discrimination because I believe a couple open to any race would have to pay to join both the "Infant" and "Trans-racial" programs. 

So, what to do? Go along with what I'd consider a racist program in order to keep adoption more affordable? Or pay an extra $1000 based on principal? I can't believe this is a decision I'm having to make in 2011. 

You Are Awesome

I made my first adoption fund deposit today, a total of $174.65. :) Not only that, my supply of clothes, shoes, accessories, electronics, and other fun stuff for the yard sale is growing rapidly. Thanks everyone for all the kind words and support so far!

Yay for Stuff

I just started gathering yard sale goods and already have quite the haul. It probably just looks like a big blob, but there's some good stuff in here, like cute clothes, photography supplies and snow skis. I still have 2 more trips to make this week (thanks friends!) so my garage will be full before I know it.

Private Attorney Update

I just got back from a meeting with an adoption attorney and wow, I’m excited! He’s been practicing family law for more than 30 years and has completed several single-parent adoptions, and his fees are about 75% lower than I was expecting. He explained that in many cases, the birth mothers are insured or on Medicaid, so I would only need to pay the baby’s medical expenses after birth (and I have coverage available through my employer.) To think I could adopt a child and end up with zero debt! That would be amazing.

The other thing I’m starting to like about the private attorney angle is that I feel like I would have more control over the process. I can network nationwide if I’d like (this attorney mostly finds babies in Idaho to place) and not be at the mercy of some crazy fees a placing agency might charge. FYI: In Idaho, adoption agencies have to be non-profit, but that isn’t the case in all states, like Texas. That’s why a couple of Texas agencies charge as much as $40k.

I have a lot of thinking to do and some decisions to make down the road, but for the next 6 weeks or so, the focus will remain on raising money and completing the home study. BIG thanks to friends and family who've already gathered stuff for me to sell!

Agency Update

Today I met with the domestic infant coordinator at CASI. I got lots of great information and will definitely be moving forward with a home study, which I will be able to use anywhere no matter how I decide to adopt. 

I have two concerns: First, actual placement fees are based on the agency that has the baby, so I won't know until birth parents select me how much the adoption will cost. (CASI networks with 15 states and acts as the "networking" agency, not the placing agency, in out-of-state adoptions.) Refund policies also depend on the placing agency and can be as low as 40% when the birth mother changes her mind. Obviously that's not a financial risk I could take, so those low-refund agencies would have to be cut from my list. 

Second, she said it takes 2 - 3 years for single parents to adopt through CASI, which is longer than what national statistics show. 

Tomorrow I'm meeting with an adoption attorney who has completed several successful single-parent adoptions, so it will be good to hear his rates and methods of matching children with parents. 

The Cost of Adoption

Quite a few people have asked me how much adoption costs. A few years ago I was under the impression it was somewhere in the neighborhood of $50,000. Thankfully, that's not the case.

When all is said and done, adoption costs most parents just a few thousand dollars out of pocket, thanks in large part to an adoption tax refund of more than $13,000 that was recently extended along with the Bush tax cuts.

If I was facing a debt of $50k to adopt, I probably wouldn't waste my time gathering donations of loose change or having a yard sale. But because the financial aspect of this is so doable, I'm going to do whatever I can to cover the costs and avoid debt. All that practice raising money for politicians may finally come in handy!

And now I'll call your attention to the shiny new "Donate" button on the upper left hand side of this blog. If you're so inclined to pitch in via Paypal, know that your contribution will go safely into my account and then directly toward adoption expenses. My current goal is to raise $1,150 by September 1st, in order to cover home study and agency application fees.

Wow...

Response from family and friends has been great so far! I figured there would be much more "Uh, really?" responses, but for the most part, everyone seems very excited. One thing I'd like to clarify is that I don't see this as the end of the road for myself family-wise, but rather the beginning of going about it in an unconventional way.

Next order of business: emailing the extended family next week and starting to gather items for a massive yard sale July 29th and 30th. I'll be making the rounds picking up donations so let me know if you have some stuff you'd like to get rid of.