Thankful for Non-Corrupt Police Forces

The bar at Harry Bissett's, where I spent many hours waiting tables.

When I lived in Mexico, I worked at Harry Bissett's New Orleans Restaurant. We had a couple of drivers, Jorge and Paco, who went to Mexico City a few times a week to pick up fresh seafood. This time of year they'd also load up on frozen turkeys for the gringos to purchase from the market next door. It was about a 4-hour trip each way.

They headed out one November day and a few hours later, we received a call at the restaurant. They had been pulled over outside Mexico City and the police were demanding to see permits that weren't really required. The guys put together as much cash as possible to "buy" permits on the spot, but they only had a few hundred pesos between them. That wasn't enough to keep the cops happy, and Jorge's phone was running out of minutes. We couldn't send anyone to help because we didn't have their exact location.

Hours went by without any news from the guys until they finally pulled up to the restaurant after dark. Turns out, when the officers heard what they were hauling, they demanded to be let into the truck. Inside, they helped themselves to the fattest turkeys so they'd have something nice to eat on Christmas. They took their pesos and birds and let Jorge and Paco go.

Note about Mexican police officers: Cops in Mexico are only required to have a junior high education. They make about $4 an hour and have no benefits.

Crazy Busy (Fun!) Weekend

Blackberry crepes.

I started the weekend by setting up a baby registry at Burlington's Baby Depot. It feels really early, but many adoptive parents say now is the time to get started. Apparently when I get "the call", the last thing on my mind will be researching bouncy chairs, high chairs, bottles, etc. The woman who helped me set up my account is part of an adoptive family herself - her daughter and husband adopted a little girl in Utah. (And then, after 13 years of infertility, went on to have 3 biological sons.)

Yesterday I headed out with my sisters-in-law for a marathon day of Christmas shopping. Yazmin is 9 months pregnant and needed to get her shopping done asap. We hit tons of stores and spend 8 hours out and about, ending the adventure with a dead battery in the mall parking lot. Thankfully mall security rescued us! After that, we watched BSU win again and sampled the first batch of lefse and pecan chocolate chip cookies this season.

This morning I whipped up my favorite breakfast lately - blackberry crepes. Then I cleaned out the garage to make room for all the awesome yard sale stuff I'm getting for this spring, painted a desk for Natalya and baked a new type of pie. If the recipe is good, I'll bake it again when I have the family over for a holiday get-together in December.

Now I'm back at the computer to finish updating my parent profile based on my attorney's feedback. Whew. Long weekend, but great fun. And I LOVE that I get a short work week this week!

Choosing My Battles

I have two options.

#1 Fight for my $1,000 back from CASI, and if I am successful, end up with no approved home study until February. I assume they'd revoke the one they prepared, and A New Beginning couldn't complete mine until February based on their class schedules. This would jeopardize the grant I might be awarded in December.

#2 Network on my own and through my adoption attorney until next fall. If I'm still waiting to adopt then, I can bite the bullet and pay for a new home study with A New Beginning (when I would have had to pay $400 to renew my home study anyway.)

I think I'm going with option #2. I don't want to spend my holidays fighting with a less-than-informed agency staff when I wouldn't even really benefit from the best-case outcome. And I really don't want to risk losing a grant. Of course, the infant program coordinator and executive director at CASI will still be receiving strongly worded letters from me, and I'll also file official complaints with any statewide or local adoption boards I can track down. It's not right for CASI reps to make promises they have no ability to keep.

Now, I'm letting this all go so I can enjoy a weekend of Christmas shopping (getting a jump start to avoid Black Friday) and winter projects.

She "Didn't Know"

I heard back from CASI today, and the woman who told me I could use my home study anywhere didn't know that the only other agency in Idaho won't accept it. I was surprised to hear her say that. I thought she'd tell me I had misunderstood, or a policy had recently changed. But nope, she just admitted she "didn't know".

So, where do I go from here? How hard do I want to fight for my money back so I can start over with the home study process? I'm not sure. I'll sleep on it.

Good Stuff

No news on the home study situation yet, but I met with my attorney this morning and got some great feedback on my parent profile. A few tweaks and they'll start showing it to birth parents when I meet those parents' requirements.

I also stopped by the Ada Dems meeting tonight to say hi and hand out my adoption cards. I've almost given away the entire first order of 250 cards! I've handed out a few sets of 5 or 10, but the rest have been one at a time to people who have now heard my story.

I also heard back today from one of the grant organizations. They have a monthly review process and won't consider any applicant until they've been matched with a baby, but the good news is I'm on file with them, and they'll basically be on standby until I'm matched.

And, finally, things are arranged for me to sell my recipe books at a holiday market on the 11th. It was quite the experience trying to navigate the small business/vendor rules for the city, so I hope it turns out to be worth it.

Another Bump in the Road

Today I was looking forward to joining a list of waiting parents at A New Beginning adoption agency. Their fees are reasonable, they're very well connected and it turns out I misunderstood their policy on single women, so I am welcome. Great news!

Not so fast. It turns out my home study is no good at A New Beginning! I'm angry because the folks at CASI told me the great thing about doing a home study with them is that I could "take it anywhere". No extra fees, no issues. It would be my home study to do with as I pleased. 

I find it extremely hard to believe that CASI isn't aware of the policies of the only other adoption agency in Idaho. Either way, they misrepresented what they could offer me and I will be working to get at least a partial refund from them.

Meanwhile, a nice woman at A New Beginning is going to see what she can do on their end to minimize my home study fees with them, should I decide to re-do the home study and get on their list. 

The rush? I have to do it all before the first of the year if I want to get any of these fees back on my 2012 taxes (there's a one year delay before you can file adoption expenses).

Tomorrow morning I'm meeting with my adoption attorney, so I'll get her take on the situation too. This is so frustrating and disheartening at times. 

Telling Kids About Adoption

A couple of weeks ago we started introducing my niece (almost 5) to the idea of adoption. At first she wondered if her pregnant mom was going to be one of the parents who couldn't keep her baby, but we explained no, and then she sort of started to get it. As we put together the recipe books, she said carefully, "You need money so you can get a baby." She also understood that it wouldn't grow in my tummy like her baby brother in mom's tummy. Yep, close enough for now.

Then last night she hugged me and said "You're going to have a baby, but not in your tummy. You're just going to . . .organize it." I tried not to laugh, but I couldn't help it. It was so cute and really the perfect way to describe what I'm doing. I love that in her world, it's going to happen "next year" and there are no doubts about it. I think I'm going to borrow her outlook!