Frustrations Continue...

This whole adoption loan thing is a LOT harder than I thought it would be. It might seem like arranging financing should have been the first step in the process, but it can't work that way.

o I had to have a completed home study ($1,300) in order to apply for grants
o Until I found out about grants, I didn't know what my budget would be or how much I'd need to borrow
o 1 of the 3 grants I qualify for only awards funds after you've been matched with a child (which is ridiculous, because it means I'd have to commit to a child and a budget before knowing if I could actually afford the adoption)
o No luck with grants so far, so I've narrowed my plan to private adoption and a bare bones budget

The best loan rate I've found so far is 13% on a 36 month loan, through a peer-to-peer lending network (came highly recommended by another single mom). However, Idaho wasn't an option on their application so I'm not sure if they loan here. And while I'd get a big chunk of money back through a tax refund, I'd have pretty high payments due until that refund came through, since it's a only 36-month loan.

I'm also waiting to hear back from my Texas credit union on a personal loan, but I don't expect that rate to be below 15%.

I continue to apply for grants and will find out about the next rounds at the end of March and mid-June. Until then, geez. Who knows.

Drumroll please...

Here goes…my first loan application was submitted today. I called and spoke with a loan officer about the situation, and he’s going to get back with me today on a few things:

• Whether I qualify for the lowest-rate Visa card at my requested amount (Sadly, a credit card is the least expensive option for those without assets)
• If not, how much credit I’ve been given and at what rate
• Whether I need to close any of my $0 balance accounts to bump up my credit score

Of course, I could get big fat NOs across the board, so I’m prepared for that as well. If I can’t get approved for my minimum budget (which would only be enough for private adoption, not an agency adoption), I’ll need to apply in other places and work even harder to supplement it with grants and fundraising.

And if I have to seek funding elsewhere, I’ve been advised to submit all my applications within about a 2-week period. Apparently it doesn’t ding one’s credit when they’re lumped together (the credit gods realize you’re shopping around?)

Wish me luck!

UPDATE: Shot down. Wow. My local bank, Idaho Central Credit Union, denied me ANY credit. This is shocking because I have a great income, no consumer debt (aside from car loan) and I just pulled all 3 of my credit reports last week, so I know they look good.

I was approved for a US Bank card through the National Adoption Foundation, but for only a fraction of what I requested and at a 26% interest rate!! Obviously I declined their offer. Holy moly, this isn't going as well as I'd hoped.

Big Week Next Week

I’m expecting my tax refund Monday, at which point I’ll pay off my last bit of credit card debt, put the rest into savings and start applying for adoption loans. I’m going to start local with two credit unions I already do business with, and hopefully I can get approved for a decent amount at a decent rate.

As I recently complained on my Facebook page, I can get a boob job, home or car financed from 0% - 4%, but I don’t think I can get an adoption loan for less than 11%. Financial priorities in this country are really messed up!

Once I know how much I can borrow, I’ll be able to better fill out the next round of grant applications. Then I’m going to start a full-on social media campaign including a Facebook page and Twitter account dedicated solely to my networking for adoption. I recently learned that more than half of all adoptions in the US are done privately (without an agency), even though it seems like agencies are the popular way to go.

I’ve also ordered some breast milk storage bags (Amazon’s recommendations for me should get interesting!), and my milk donor is starting to pump a little extra.
So yeah, moving right along!

Protecting Our Right to Choose (How We Become Mothers)

I recently joined the board of advocates for Planned Parenthood and we were given a clinic tour Thursday evening. One woman on the board, who's probably in her 70s, shared with us her first experience with the organization.

She was 24, living in Minneapolis with a young daughter, and in need of long-term birth control (an IUD). She walked into a Planned Parenthood clinic and immediately noticed that all the women (wearing skirts and dresses of course) had brown paper bags at their feet. She was baffled until the receptionist handed her her own paper bag and told her to go to the restroom and remove her underpants. Ha! So she came back out and sat with her undies at her feet like everyone else. When it was her turn to be seen, she was taken to a room with 3 exam tables - get 'em in, get 'em out, I guess.

At first I thought it was a pretty funny story, but then I realized it could have been quite embarrassing and demeaning to be treated like that, just because a regular doctor's office was too expensive.

This woman also shared with us that her best friend had an illegal abortion before Roe v. Wade, and ended up in the hospital for quite a few days with a serious infection. She was never able to have children.

I think my generation (and younger) takes for granted the reproductive freedoms we've always known. Some anti-choice legislation that's been introduced around the country not only aims to criminalize safe, legal abortion, but are carefully worded to effectively outlaw many types of fertility treatments and even birth control. Abortion may not be a top-of-mind issue for you or your family, but the related effects of anti-choice laws could have far-reaching effects. So the next time you hear about a proposed law that involves women or children, listen up and get involved if it so moves you.

Odds and Ends

The Facebook ads are performing really well so far. They're driving traffic to my parent profile blog and visitors are spending some time looking at different pages (a good indication they're valid clicks and not accidental.)  Surprisingly, the non-religious ad is getting far more clicks than the other two. I even had a complete stranger leave a wonderful comment, basically saying I'm going to make a great mom and she wishes she had a baby to give me. She really made my day. 

I attended a "funding adoption" seminar tonight, provided free by a local adoption agency. The financial guy is an adoptee himself and he really knows his stuff, but the focus was mainly personal finance and not adoption funding specifically. I think at some point I'll need to write my own guide to fundraising and networking, especially if I manage to adopt privately for half the cost of an agency. 

I'm also happy to report that I have a new roommate. We met in passing on the Obama campaign in'08, and she plans on being in town until July. Her sister is a pediatric nurse in the process of adopting a little girl with cancer, whose parents relinquished her to the hospital/state when she was born. Crazy how many lives are touched by adoption. 

Good Idea, New Project

I started looking into newspaper advertising and quickly realized it was going to require many hours of phone calling and emailing (during business hours) just to get basic information on the newspapers there. I don't have that kind of time right now, nor do I feel like it would be a good use of a PTO day.

However, I'm still determined to advertise for myself. The more I think about what agencies charge, the more determined I am not to go that route. I don't want that industry getting my hard-earned (or borrowed) money.

This morning, it hit me. Why not advertise on Facebook? Everyone is on Facebook. I manage all our online advertising at work - everything from testing the most effective images and copy to tracking results and managing the budget - so it'll be a cinch. I can choose a daily budget, pay only if someone clicks on my ad, and control which states see my ads. I can target Democrats, pet lovers, non-religious people, young women, Spanish speakers, etc.

The opportunities are endless and inexpensive: using Facebook's minimum budget, I could advertise for myself for 5 1/2 years before hitting the $2,000 mark an agency would charge to put my name on a list. And the monthly cost is less than 1/3 of what the online parent profile website charges for a static page on their site, no advertising included.

My first three ads should be up and running in the next day or so (they're pending approval). I'll track the number of clicks and visits to my blog to figure out which ads work the best before branching out into other states that allow adoption advertising.

Here's a quick rundown of the three ads I'm testing to start:
Ad #1, shown above: Targets women ages 18 - 26, links to my parent profile blog
Ad #2: Up-close pic of my face, targets women of all ages, links to blog post Top 5 Reasons to choose a single parent (I wrote it this morning)
Ad #3: Up-close pic of my face, targets women who have identified as atheist or agnostic, copy speaks to non-religious adoption

I'm especially interested to see how #3 does, since there is some evidence online that birth parents have a hard time finding non-religious families for their children. So much of the adoption industry is focused on "loving Christian couples", I think lots of adoptive parents probably play up their religious affiliations because they think that's what birth parents want to hear. We will see!

The Stars at Night are Big and Bright

There is so much going on right now, I seriously can’t decide where to focus my energy. I have a few household projects that are 75% finished, and a bedroom, car and garage that seriously need to be cleaned and organized. My parent profile has been updated yet again, but I still need to get copies made and dropped off at the attorney’s office. I also need to make my Kickstarter video, work on the copy for my children’s book and actually get the project live online. I still have my two part-time jobs in addition to my regular 9 - 5, a packed social schedule thanks in part to it being an election year (I know, poor me) and meanwhile, I’m not doing anything new to get my name out there as a prospective parent.

AHH!

Of course I have a plan, I just haven’t been able to work on it yet. I’ve decided to advertise for myself Juno-style in Texas. The state is easy to work with legally-speaking, and they place lots of babies every year. And because I’m bilingual and a UT grad, I’m hoping to make a connection with some birth parents there. Other adoptive parents have had really good luck doing it this way.

The next step will be to access a big book of publishers from the public library so I can identify the most affordable mid-sized newspapers in Texas. Then I need to figure out what it will cost to advertise in each one, and if it’s pricey, I may submit it to Kickstarter as another project. (I think advertising for oneself is considered creative!) Either way, I hope to get a lot more mileage out of a thousand bucks than if I hand it over to an agency that’s going to turn around and charge me $20,000 more in placement fees.

Serenity now.