It's our last night in this house, and I find myself surprisingly unemotional about the move tomorrow. I spent the evening taking down art and packing, and thinking about why that may be.
And I think I have it figured out. When I bought this place 6 1/2 years ago, I didn't love it. It wasn't even what you might call a dream starter home. I just knew I wanted to stop paying rent, and this was in my budget, set up well to have a roommate, and would make a good rental later.
I don't have strong associations with bringing baby Felix home to this house because we spent almost the first three weeks of his life in Oregon. I'll be more emotional when my friends leave their house, I'm sure.
Add to that the fact that I've been mentally ready to move since a year ago, and it makes the whole thing pretty easy. I've decided to rent it out, so maybe that helps, not handing over the keys and saying goodbye.
It's funny how big and empty it felt when I first moved in. Now we're bursting at the seams with noise and laughter and silliness. Not a bad reason to move on. :)
Friday, April 17, 2015
Saturday, March 28, 2015
Out of Room
In my brain, that is. I feel like I only have the capacity to focus on one big thing at a time, and anything competing for attention sort of waits in the wings hounding me until I plan it out. It's exhausting.
On deck for the next few weeks: groundbreaking event, closing on the house (hopefully), leaving town for 8 days, moving, getting my townhouse back on the market. Add a Saturday Easter Egg Hunt train ride in there, and Easter itself.
I have a full-time house sitter coming while we're gone, so I can't leave the place a mess even though we have a 5:45 AM flight. The old building on our groundbreaking lot JUST came down this week, so until Thursday I thought I might have to change everything (catering, the Mayor's invite, etc.) And I just hired someone in my department who starts the day before I leave, so I need to plan his schedule before I go. I also need to arrange for the carpet people to get in and take measurements so the carpet can be replaced in the new house while we're out of town, assuming we close on time. Part of what's eating me is that I can't do much right now. Every thing needs to happen on its own timeline.
Last week I dreamed that I forgot to invite Felix's friends to his birthday party (I'll start planning that after we move) and also that I quit my job! I was freaking out in my dream, trying to remember why I had put in my two weeks' notice and trying to find my boss to tell her I wanted to stay. I definitely feel like I'm going to miss some big detail eventually.
On top of all this, I feel like I should be doing something in terms of adoption networking, but that has been slow going. A match before we move would mean financial chaos, so I haven't been pushing too hard just in case (any match so soon would be a miracle, but you never know...) This week I finally took pictures of my profile book and cropped them all the same size (on a computer so slow, it shows a progress bar for cropping) so they can go into a PDF in case my book ever needs to be shared electronically. I wish Shutter.fly offered hi-res digital versions of projects.
Last night I took Felix to his first movie in a theater. He did great, and talked to the girl next to us as though they were longtime friends. When he heard other kids saying bye to each other when the movie was over, he thought it meant he should also say bye to everyone, so he did. It was pretty cute.
On deck for the next few weeks: groundbreaking event, closing on the house (hopefully), leaving town for 8 days, moving, getting my townhouse back on the market. Add a Saturday Easter Egg Hunt train ride in there, and Easter itself.
I have a full-time house sitter coming while we're gone, so I can't leave the place a mess even though we have a 5:45 AM flight. The old building on our groundbreaking lot JUST came down this week, so until Thursday I thought I might have to change everything (catering, the Mayor's invite, etc.) And I just hired someone in my department who starts the day before I leave, so I need to plan his schedule before I go. I also need to arrange for the carpet people to get in and take measurements so the carpet can be replaced in the new house while we're out of town, assuming we close on time. Part of what's eating me is that I can't do much right now. Every thing needs to happen on its own timeline.
Last week I dreamed that I forgot to invite Felix's friends to his birthday party (I'll start planning that after we move) and also that I quit my job! I was freaking out in my dream, trying to remember why I had put in my two weeks' notice and trying to find my boss to tell her I wanted to stay. I definitely feel like I'm going to miss some big detail eventually.
On top of all this, I feel like I should be doing something in terms of adoption networking, but that has been slow going. A match before we move would mean financial chaos, so I haven't been pushing too hard just in case (any match so soon would be a miracle, but you never know...) This week I finally took pictures of my profile book and cropped them all the same size (on a computer so slow, it shows a progress bar for cropping) so they can go into a PDF in case my book ever needs to be shared electronically. I wish Shutter.fly offered hi-res digital versions of projects.
Last night I took Felix to his first movie in a theater. He did great, and talked to the girl next to us as though they were longtime friends. When he heard other kids saying bye to each other when the movie was over, he thought it meant he should also say bye to everyone, so he did. It was pretty cute.
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| Previews - it took him a few minutes to get used to the giant screen. |
Saturday, March 14, 2015
What's New?
I think most people stay up to date via Facebook or online groups, but in case you haven't heard, I recently finished my home study to adopt #2! The process went more quickly this time because the agency had a bunch of my info on hand, and I also received a big discount for being a returning family.
I will be using my attorney and networking on my own again. If I'm not matched within a year, I plan to become more aggressive in my search, possibly using a national agency. As the stigma associated with single motherhood continues to dissipate, adoption rates drop. My attorney said, "The matches are out there. You just have to work for them." I'm paying for an online profile at www.adoptimist.com/chryssa and I also have an 800 number this time around.
And because I think major life changes should come in pairs, we finally had an offer accepted on a house yesterday! It was the fourth house I made an offer on this year. The first two received 4 and 6 offers respectively and I was outbid, and the third house was owned by a military family who couldn't move until May. I didn't want to wait that long so they rejected my offer. On the fourth house, I decided to include a personal letter along with a photo of myself to help my case. (After putting together a whole profile book, the letter was a cinch.) The deadline was Friday at noon and the agent reported they had 4 offers total and would decide by 5 PM. Well, my agent's phone rang at 12:05 and they said the seller loved my letter and was accepting my offer as written. Woo hoo! I am super excited because this house has everything I was looking for. I'm making no concessions and probably won't need to do anything before we move in. I'm a little gun shy after last year, but trying to stay optimistic that the inspection and closing phases will go smoothly.
And because I think the best time to move is right after a vacation, that's the plan so far. In December I had to pick some dates and buy tickets for Felix and I to visit the grandparents. We will take 6 flights in 8 days and stop in a total of 4 cities/towns. I've been putting together a light schedule of activities for Felix and the grandparents to enjoy together - library story time, indoor swimming, etc. So he can stay busy without them having to walk a lot. Felix is VERY excited about going on an airplane and asks daily to ride on one. When I tell him "later, next month", he hangs his head a little and says, "Okaaaaay."
Overall I'm feeling so fortunate right now with all our hopeful news, and supportive friends and family who are genuinely excited for us.
I will be using my attorney and networking on my own again. If I'm not matched within a year, I plan to become more aggressive in my search, possibly using a national agency. As the stigma associated with single motherhood continues to dissipate, adoption rates drop. My attorney said, "The matches are out there. You just have to work for them." I'm paying for an online profile at www.adoptimist.com/chryssa and I also have an 800 number this time around.
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| He is so proud of our profile book. |
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| Come on baby, no whammies! |
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| Felix with one of his Great Grandmas on the right at 5 months - this is one spread in our book. |
Wednesday, January 28, 2015
People Bus Song
Felix's favorite song lately is "Wheels on the Bus". At first, he'd just ask me to sing the song. "People bus song, mommy!" Then he'd request specific verses. "Baby bus song, mommy!" Then he started swapping out the bus riders with family members, our pets, Santa and reindeer, and I had to come up with what everyone said. I decided Grandpa says "ha ha ha", cousin Natalya says "hi hi hi ", the reindeer "fly fly fly", etc.
Then he started swapping out the bus for other vehicles, and paired with family members or pets, the verse requests came rapid-fire. "Grandpa firetruck song!" "Hayden car song!" "Leo truck song!"
His latest version includes a snake, brings back the baby, and the people are there and also the baby touches the snake. The request sounds like "Baby bus snake, people bus, baby touch snake song, mommy."
So it goes a little something like this: "The baby on the bus goes wah wah wah, andseesasnakegoing SSS SSS SSS, and touches the snake, touches the snake. And the people on the busseethesnake and go eek eek eek, all through the town!"
Then he started swapping out the bus for other vehicles, and paired with family members or pets, the verse requests came rapid-fire. "Grandpa firetruck song!" "Hayden car song!" "Leo truck song!"
His latest version includes a snake, brings back the baby, and the people are there and also the baby touches the snake. The request sounds like "Baby bus snake, people bus, baby touch snake song, mommy."
So it goes a little something like this: "The baby on the bus goes wah wah wah, andseesasnakegoing SSS SSS SSS, and touches the snake, touches the snake. And the people on the busseethesnake and go eek eek eek, all through the town!"
Tuesday, December 23, 2014
Let's Talk Christmas
All it took was one visit to Santa last month and Felix
really latched on to the whole Christmas idea. Some of the things he says
lately are pretty cute. He’s even woken in his sleep to shout things about
reindeer and Santa.
Here are some of his favorite phrases. He is getting better
at the S sound, but there’s still some T in it. He’s also saying Rs and Ls
clearly in some words.
Reh-meh – Christmas
Waindeer tsad – Rudolph is sad
My tree light on – I’ll plug in the Christmas tree lights
Tsanta waindeer fwy moon – Santa and the reindeer fly by the
moon
Tsanta my pire truck – Santa is bringing me a fire truck
Reh-meh tree light on too – That object has Christmas lights
on it, too
No man – Snow man
Hayden no, Grampa no, my no! – I went sledding with Hayden
and Grandpa!
Hayden table pahty – We gave Hayden a Lego table at his
birthday party
Tsanta book, weed it – Read my Santa book
People preddents – Presents for other people
Raindy – It’s windy and raining (this one's my favorite)
And he’ll string all these together like a little chatterbox
on our way home from daycare every day. “My reindeer antlers. Raindy car. Santa
my fire truck. My tree light on, too.” I fill in the gaps to help him tell
whatever story is on his mind.
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| Dinner at Noodles after a long day of shopping. |
Sunday, November 23, 2014
Sleepover Weekend
Every year around this time we try to have a sleepover with my sister-in-law Yazmin and the kids. We put it on the calendar a couple of weeks ago and made it happen, despite both mommies being on the annoying-cough end of colds.
We started the night making turkey headbands. Felix and I are doing a 5k on Thanksgiving morning and need something silly to wear, so I thought it would be fun if we all made them.
I made a quick spaghetti dinner ("No bacon?!" Hayden complained before digging in) and brought egg nog for dessert, which we also used to make french toast in the morning.
Natalya asked for my help on another project I can't reveal (gifts), so we worked on that late into the night and first thing again in the morning. She's a kid after my own heart! When she gets a project idea, work must start right away.
Hayden came home with us today and this afternoon we all met up at my parents' house for lefse, seafood chowder and leaf raking. The early record-breaking snow (7 inches) finally melted off so we can try to save our lawns before it's too late.
It's so fun and hilarious hearing Hayden and Felix have conversations. At one point today Felix said something about the potty, and Hayden gasped and said, "Go potty Fee-iks! Run!" and motioned him toward the bathroom.
The snow got us into the holiday spirit early, and I bought the classic Rudolph and Frosty cartoons on DVD. Felix is really into all things Christmas as a result, noticing reindeer, trees, Santa, etc. everywhere we go. He has also started saying his own name finally: Ee-dits. Not bad for a kid who can't consistently say L or X. He tries to make the F sound with a P-W combination. So instead of "off", it's "aw-pwuh."
We started the night making turkey headbands. Felix and I are doing a 5k on Thanksgiving morning and need something silly to wear, so I thought it would be fun if we all made them.
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| Turkey faces take lots of concentration. |
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| Gobble gobble! |
Natalya asked for my help on another project I can't reveal (gifts), so we worked on that late into the night and first thing again in the morning. She's a kid after my own heart! When she gets a project idea, work must start right away.
Hayden came home with us today and this afternoon we all met up at my parents' house for lefse, seafood chowder and leaf raking. The early record-breaking snow (7 inches) finally melted off so we can try to save our lawns before it's too late.
It's so fun and hilarious hearing Hayden and Felix have conversations. At one point today Felix said something about the potty, and Hayden gasped and said, "Go potty Fee-iks! Run!" and motioned him toward the bathroom.
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| You can see by the trunk behind them - this is no small task! |
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| Thumpitty thump thump, look at Frosty go! |
Sunday, November 2, 2014
Now where were we?
Wow, almost a month since the last update!
Last weekend we went to Oregon for our friend's Halloween party. It was the perfect getaway. The weather was cooler and there was snow on the mountains, we had amazing breakfasts every morning and a fun costume party the first night. (Bar hopping and karaoke the second night!) Felix did great, and of course I took advantage of the two built-in babysitters. Andrea and I ran errands Friday afternoon and it was so weird to be able to just browse and take our time. I had this internal sense of urgency telling me I should hurry, like when I leave work a few minutes early to stop at the grocery store before picking him up from daycare. (Oh, the guilt!)
We came back from Oregon and went straight to my dad's birthday/costume/pumpkin carving/Green Bay Packers party on Sunday. Exhausting but fun, and the roasted pumpkin seeds were an amazing treat to have at my desk all week.
On Halloween, Felix and I went trick-or-treating just the two of us. It was so stinkin' adorable watching him go up to every house, knock on the door and wait patiently. He didn't say "tree-treet" to anyone, but he did call out "Happy Ween!" and blow kisses to many of the people who gave him candy. Later, my dad watched him so I could go to a friend's grown up party, then I went back to the house and kicked back in a recliner with some ginger rum while we watched Amityville Horror.
Felix's language is developing very nicely. He puts together 3-word sentences and likes to talk about all kinds of things. Our neighbor revved the engine of an old car a few weeks ago and it scared him, so every once in a while he'll say "Neighbor loud car. No, no neighbor!" Yesterday he wanted to carry his friend's birthday present and he said "Liam peddent hebby" a few times (Liam's present is heavy) while huffing and puffing and making a big show of how strong he is. He also tends to remember new words after hearing them just once, so he has really surprised me with his vocab lately. He will be 2 1/2 on the 14th of November.
At the same time, he is having some naughty outbursts again, and I can only hope this phase is as short-lived as previous ones. He will basically go around the house doing and touching everything he shouldn't (things that are dangerous and destructive), even after having a good nap, lots of playtime and lots of personal attention. When I scold him, he laughs and runs away. I enforce time-outs and don't always give him a warning, but the change in behavior doesn't last long. I'm starting to wonder if he needs more mental stimulation on a regular basis. This 24/7 playtime business doesn't seem to be cutting it.
Today I bought a cozy throw, a kitchen rug, cookie sheets, measuring cups and spoons and new pet dishes. I also washed curtains and pillow covers. With the time change and rainiest November day on record yesterday, I'm getting ready to hunker down for a long, cold winter.
Last weekend we went to Oregon for our friend's Halloween party. It was the perfect getaway. The weather was cooler and there was snow on the mountains, we had amazing breakfasts every morning and a fun costume party the first night. (Bar hopping and karaoke the second night!) Felix did great, and of course I took advantage of the two built-in babysitters. Andrea and I ran errands Friday afternoon and it was so weird to be able to just browse and take our time. I had this internal sense of urgency telling me I should hurry, like when I leave work a few minutes early to stop at the grocery store before picking him up from daycare. (Oh, the guilt!)
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| Felix with his "big sisters". |
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| Train engineer (sans train) and Cheshire Cat. |
On Halloween, Felix and I went trick-or-treating just the two of us. It was so stinkin' adorable watching him go up to every house, knock on the door and wait patiently. He didn't say "tree-treet" to anyone, but he did call out "Happy Ween!" and blow kisses to many of the people who gave him candy. Later, my dad watched him so I could go to a friend's grown up party, then I went back to the house and kicked back in a recliner with some ginger rum while we watched Amityville Horror.
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| My dad got some great shots with a real camera before we went trick-or-treating. |
At the same time, he is having some naughty outbursts again, and I can only hope this phase is as short-lived as previous ones. He will basically go around the house doing and touching everything he shouldn't (things that are dangerous and destructive), even after having a good nap, lots of playtime and lots of personal attention. When I scold him, he laughs and runs away. I enforce time-outs and don't always give him a warning, but the change in behavior doesn't last long. I'm starting to wonder if he needs more mental stimulation on a regular basis. This 24/7 playtime business doesn't seem to be cutting it.
Today I bought a cozy throw, a kitchen rug, cookie sheets, measuring cups and spoons and new pet dishes. I also washed curtains and pillow covers. With the time change and rainiest November day on record yesterday, I'm getting ready to hunker down for a long, cold winter.
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