Major Frustrations

Yes, I wish it grew on trees!

Let me preface this post by saying I had an awesome Halloween weekend and I won the funniest costume award at work today, so things aren't all bad.

I have to admit that so far, the adoption process has gone relatively smoothly for me. So I guess it’s only fair I get a taste of the frustration other adoptive parents have experienced.

1. I learned that 2011 is the final year the adoption tax credit will be refundable. This means that if I adopt in 2012, the amount of taxes I owe could be reduced to $0, but after that, I won’t get anything back. People who adopt this year can get the full $13k even if they don’t owe any taxes.

2. If I decide to pay the agency’s waiting list fee of $2,000, I need to do it this year so I can be sure I get it back as a tax refund. But I can’t ask for it until I file my 2012 taxes (random rule.)

3. But wait. Without the $13k tax refund, I can only afford the minimum adoption budget of $15k (and that may be a stretch.) And on that budget, CASI can only network with 3 other agencies for me. Do I want to pay $2,000 so they can network with just 3 agencies on my behalf?

4. Contrary to what I was told before, the agency is now telling me that my roommate will need to meet with the caseworker in person and there will be a $150 fee to amend my home study. This is NOT what I was told before I paid the home study fee. Grr. My roommate is only in town for 2 more months on business, and having to pay for her to be there would be a huge bummer. I'm already having to foot the bill for her background checks for ID and MT. 

Grr!

Adoption Cards are Ready!

After delayed shipping and printing errors, I finally received my adoption cards last night. They're business card size, so it'll be easy to hang on to a few in case you find yourself in a conversation with someone who knows someone who knows someone who is considering an adoption plan.

If you'd like a few cards for yourself, leave your name in the comments and I'll make sure you get some. There's no rush to hand them out - just hang on to them until the time is right.

Sugar Cookie Photo Shoot

In between prepping for Halloween, dad’s birthday and Yazmin’s baby shower this weekend, I also had to find time to shoot a cover for my recipe book. Anyone who’s tried it probably learned the hard way that food usually looks disgusting on camera.

One restaurant reviewer actually posted this Mexican dish photo.

 In commercials, artists use Elmer’s Glue for cereal milk and wax for ice cream. McDonald’s even has a team of food painters - I hear they start with actual McFood parts (as required by law), but paint them to intensify the colors. 

Anyway, there are a few exceptions to the rule. Fresh fruit, vegetables and frosted sugar cookies typically photograph quite well, so I opted for a cookie cover. The printing won’t go all the way to the edges of the covers so I’m still working on an illustrated frame for the book, but I’ll include a sneak peek of one of the photos.

Jayda loved catching sprinkles as they bounced off the counter.

 

Not the winning shot, but I bet you'd kill for a frosted sugar cookie right now.

If you’re interested in reading more about commercial food photography, there’s an interesting blurb here.

Recipe Books

Natalya showing off her mini summer squash loaf.

I'm putting together a bound recipe book with 30 great recipes to sell as an adoption fundraiser. They'll be ready some time next week, and the price is just $8 if you're in Boise and $10 if I need to ship it to you.

If you're outside Boise, you can use the Paypal "donate" button on the upper left hand side of the blog and email me your mailing address. If you're in town, let me know and I'll make arrangements to stop by your home or work.

Some of the recipes include:

Beer Bread with Spinach Dip

Apple Brie Flat Bread

Rajas a la Crema (vegetarian)

My Mom's Homemade Lasagna (vegetarian)

Tortilla Soup (vegetarian)

Pumpkin Gut Bread

Summer Squash Bread

Apple Pie

Swedish Farmer Cookies

About half the entree recipes are vegetarian by default, but meat can be added easily for the carnivores in your family.

Sticker Shock - Coupons, Please!

At the advice of other adoptive parents, I've decided to start building up a supply of diapers and wipes. I've always heard how expensive diapers are, but holy cow! $35 for a box from Walmart? Time to start joining in on those family trips to Costco.

I tried to sign up for coupons and alerts on all the major diaper sites (their forms are awful), and I'll also be looking for coupons in weekly papers. If you come across diaper or wipe coupons, please stash them away for me. Thanks in advance!

Signs a Birth Mom Might Change Her Mind

About 1/3 of adoptive parents experience a "failed placement" before they successfully adopt, according to what I've read. Naturally this is a concern for me, especially if any exchange of money takes place before the parent changes her mind. Whether it was used for medical expenses, living expenses, etc., it would be considered a gift and therefore, long gone.

Some sources list the following warning signs that a birth mom might change her mind:

• Her mom is not supportive of the adoption plan
• She doesn't know who the father is, or won't say
• She has friends who are parents
• She has no career or education plan for herself post-adoption
• She has chosen a name for the baby
• She has unrealistic post-adoption expectations, for example, weekly visits with the adoptive family

Obviously no case will be by-the-book, but I still think it's good to know what to look for in a potential match.

My pass along cards should arrive before Wednesday, and I'm excited to start sharing them. My attorney leans toward a "first right of refusal" plan, where anyone who thinks they know a birth parent would have to come to me for information and permission to tell them about me. But I'd rather get my name out there as much as possible, in as many states as possible. If I'm contacted by a birth mom whose situation isn't right for me, I'll just let her know. There are plenty of waiting families and no child will go without a loving home.

Officially Waiting!

I found out this morning that my approved home study was submitted last Friday, so I am officially "waiting to adopt". Today I'll be ordering my little cards to help network, and I think I'm all squared away with the private attorney to be part of their pool of waiting parents. Still undecided about whether I want to network with an agency...

I also told the Marketing team at work today. All but one of them already knew - my boss heard from me a couple of weeks ago and the other two heard through the nosy coworker's grapevine - but they all seemed excited and supportive. One guy on the team seems baffled by anyone deliberating wanting a child, but I suppose that's to be expected of a 27 year old guy.

So now, I wait. I'll let everyone know when the cards are ready so they can be handed out to anyone who might know someone who might know someone.