The C Word

A second friend of mine has been diagnosed with breast cancer. And by friend, I don't mean 60-year-old friend of the family. I mean someone roughly my age, and that's pretty damn scary. Thankfully she is extremely proactive, knew her risk factors and voluntarily met with a genetic counselor, so it was caught very early and treatment should be simple. But still. This shit is real.

Another friend diagnosed last year had a rare, aggressive type that they treated with tons of chemo and radiation, plus a double mastectomy. She came through it all like a champ, but I'm not sure how many years need to pass before she will officially be considered in the clear.

The "1 in 8" stat has always sounded scary, I just didn't think the 1s would start in my thirties.

By chance, my first mammogram is scheduled for tomorrow. Thankfully my risk factors are extremely low, and my doctor just wants a baseline now for future reference. It's covered thanks to Obamacare, so why wouldn't I? I did some research today on what to expect, and the #1 fear people have is that it will reveal a serious problem. That's a silly (and perhaps eventually self-fulfilling) reason not to go.

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In Felix news, he's doing as great as ever. He's a confident walker and even tries running sometimes. He's starting to say words with multiple syllables, like water, bubbles and banana. Yazmin says he told her thank you many times today, and I've heard a few "tay-cues" myself. He always likes to whisper new words the first few times, then ends up shouting them when he gets really excited. Last night I took a couple of bites of his banana, and the ripeness made me squirm and do a little dance (I prefer green bananas). Felix thought that was just hilarious and started shouting BA-NAH-NAH! BA-NAH-NAH! with a huge silly grin on his face.

He brought me ponytail holders, so he got ponytails!

Grandpa and Baby Bed Head at an early morning hot air balloon launch (on game day).

Overbooked

Last week was my last week of “summer vacation”, if you can call it that. And I managed to way overbook myself. In addition to a full work week, I scheduled two evening photo shoots for work, had a teacher orientation one evening, Felix’s well baby appointment one morning, and I had signed up to make and deliver two meals for moms with new babies in my Meetup group. Um, what was I thinking?

I put a couple hundred miles on my car when all was said and done, but thanks to a flexible work schedule, our new babysitter and a friend, everything went off without a hitch. I was even pretty proud of the colorful little meals I threw together – hummus, pita, Greek olives, feta cheese, grape tomatoes and sliced cucumber (I peeled stripes into them for fanciness), and mini Cokes. I remembered that when there’s a new baby, even having someone else wash and dice your veggies can be a huge help.

By Friday I was SO ready to crash. We took it easy all weekend, spending lots of time playing outside with cousins. On Saturday afternoon we went to the fair, where Felix ate his first churro and went on his first carnival ride. He did great on the ride, and by the last couple of laps, he and cousin Hayden were both waving "bye bye" to all the people we were passing.

Sweet cousins in the sand box.

He didn't hate it, but didn't love it, either.

So tired at the end of the fair outing, but not willing to part with the churro.

His 15 month stats are right on track. His head growth is slowing ever so slightly (still top of the charts), and he had another growth spurt and is back in the 50th percentile for height. His weight is mid-range as usual. 

My school schedule started this week and so far, so good. I’m really enjoying my class and love that it gives me something to do with my brain in the evening, especially with shorter days coming up. It’s so easy to spend 4 hours watching reality TV, but having lessons to prepare gets me off the couch and into thinking mode. The only bummer is the Monday commute from campus to my parents’ house, but I’m thankful they are able to pick up Felix and watch him, so it’s not a bad deal at all.

Summer Vacation - Seattle!

Felix and I recently spent a wonderful long weekend in sunny Seattle – that’s right, sunny! I planned our trip for August hoping for good weather, and it paid off.

Landed in Seattle.

Day 1

Our flight there was on time and uneventful. Felix fell asleep right after takeoff, and woke in time to have a snack before we landed. We were the only ones on our “shared shuttle” so we got door-to-door service from the airport to our friend’s house.

The house was so cute, located in North Seattle, totally kid-proofed and full of fun toys. The yard was lush and also full of toys, with a nice patio. They also have cable TV so I indulged in some Sex and the City and Frasier reruns. Oh, and our friends were out of town, so we had the place to ourselves! It was so, so much better than the nicest hotel or B&B would have been.

Other people's toys are the best!

We dropped off our luggage and hurried to catch an express bus downtown. We visited Pike Place Market, had lunch and went to the aquarium. Felix fell asleep and woke up with that “overdone” look on his face. So we took a break while I charged my iPhone in a quiet spot at the aquarium and he played with his souvenir slinky till he was a little more relaxed and acting like himself. Then we did a one-hour harbor boat tour before catching another bus back to the house. I made the mistake of stopping for milk and wine and taking a different bus back, which meant me pushing Felix and the heavy beverages uphill about 1/3 mile. I didn’t take that route again!

He loved crawling around the boat and looking out the windows.

Day 2

On Friday, I didn’t plan anything more than going to the zoo. It took two bus rides to get there and I wanted plenty of break time if needed, since I had to hold Felix on the buses and it was very challenging at times. He had a mini-meltdown on the first bus, so I got off at Pike Place Market and had some amazing bakery goodies from Three Girls Bakery while he napped. We eventually made it to the zoo and had a great time. There were so many more animals than what we usually see. When it was time for lunch, I opted for a grilled salmon sandwich over pad thai, thanks to the advice of a fellow SMC.

Very interested in the gorillas!

On the way back to the house, we got off near the university to check out all the random shops and have some frozen yogurt. Gotta love reliable, frequent public transportation.

Day 3

Saturday we headed to the Seattle Center and spent the whole day there. On the bus, I had to move his stroller to accommodate a woman in a wheelchair (and her companion) and we chatted for a bit. The Seattle Center is a really nice walkable campus with the Pacific Science Center, Space Needle, EMP Museum, International Fountain and other fun things. Felix loved the water table and tot area at PCS, and we did a “Preschool Trip to the Moon” class in the planetarium. The EMP was perfect for nap time, since they have a really sweet horror movie exhibit and Women Who Rock exhibit with stage outfits for famous female performers. 

Playing a piano with special sound effects at PCS.

The giant water table was so much fun.

Horror movie weapons on display; tap the screen to watch the scene.
Pictured here is the axe from The Shining and the face grabber from Alien.

A the top of the Space Needle. He later did downward dog on the South marker.

We met some friends for lunch and it was really nice to have some grown-up conversation. On the way home, imagine our surprise to find the same woman and her companion waiting at the bus stop with us! We thought it was quite the coincidence and talked more – turns out she’s a well-known choreographer visiting from Scotland. Just goes to show you really can't judge a book by its cover!

Day 4

On Sunday we woke up early to put the house back together and walk to a nearby Starbucks for breakfast. The airport shuttle was picking us up at 9:30, but I always like my last day of vacation to still feel a little like vacation. The Starbucks didn’t have any high chairs, so Felix got muffin crumbs and milk all over a leather couch. (Seriously, who doesn’t have high chairs?) But we had a good time, and the walk was nice.

Our flight home was as uneventful as the flight there. Both ways, we had to walk out on to the tarmac to board our plane, so Felix got to see lots of giant trucks and airplanes up close, which was really cool. 

Before the trip, I picked up a CityPASS which gave me deeply discounted admission to all the major Seattle attractions. It was nice to pay for that ahead of time and not have to worry about whether I should pay to get in to every neat place I found. They have CityPASS for quite a few major cities and I would highly recommend getting one for anyone who’s going to travel for fun.

Single vs. Single

We had an interesting and somewhat heated discussion on my SMC list recently. The topic was single parent stats, and how it’s usually reported that kids from single-parent homes do worse in school/get into more trouble/become teen parents/scary stat of the week.

I have to admit I get frustrated with SMCs who get upset about these reports. I think they take them too personally. There aren’t enough of us to dent the statistics, and sadly, the number of parents in the home can still be an accurate predictor of a child’s success in some cases. But it doesn’t bother me because I know I’m not part of the single parent demographic they’re referring to when they talk about expected failures. In fact, I've never been able to indicate on a form that I’m a single mom by choice, so I know I'm not being counted. (Even Felix’s birth certificate says “unknown” in the Father space, because there is no other option.)

So far, I think I'm doing an OK job!

I also argue that we should look at education levels, income, community/extended family and overall stability of the household to predict success. Single, coupled, straight, gay, cohabitating doesn’t matter as much as those other factors.

Some of the moms on the SMC list took offense to me saying I don’t lump myself in with other single parents, because aside from age and marital status, I don’t have anything in common with them. And the truth is, I don't want to call attention to the fact that I'm a single mom because of all the baggage that comes along with it. In professional settings, I don't mention my son because I'm not wearing a ring and I've experienced the negative consequences of other people's assumptions. One SMC argued we should "stand up and be counted", but I don't see the point in that. I'm not going to martyr myself for statistics. I'd rather influence those I meet one by one and save my public voice for other matters. 

I looked into a single parent Meetup group in my area and the group description echoed what I’ve heard from my friends who are single parents (not by choice). They struggle with separation, divorce, unpaid child support and missing their kids when they’re away. They also have different priorities, like coordinating their weeks off so they can go to Vegas or on a cruise, or downtown drinking and dancing. To each her own, but statistically it is not accurate to consider us the same types of families. And that’s not even considering the financial support other single parents get (or need or expect) from their exes. 

Hence not getting worked up about reports that tell us how damaging single-parent households can be.

Anyway, Felix and I finally attended a single parent family Meetup event last weekend. I tried to strike up conversations with a few people but no one was very talkative – certainly not like my babies & tots Meetup group I love so much. Two people sitting right next to my blanket talked to each other the whole time and didn’t ever ask me anything. They were talking about someone’s daughter meeting her dad’s new girlfriend and how difficult that was, so I didn't chime in. I kept glancing over thinking they’d change the topic and introduce themselves, but no luck. So Felix and I ate and swam and had a decent time. Ironically, I received about 8 electronic “It was nice to meet you!” messages through the website after the event, from people I hadn’t actually met. I thought that was odd. Then last night I received a notice that I’d been removed from the group. Okay then! I guess I was supposed to “like” everybody back through the website?

Fortunately we aren’t lacking for family and friends so it not a big deal. We just had a wonderful mini-vacation in Seattle made possible by our amazing network. I’ll blog about that adventure soon!

The Year of Opportunity

Last January I couldn’t come up with any resolutions, so I decided to call 2013 the Year of Opportunity. So whenever I balk at the idea of something new because it’ll be too hard, too risky or will take too much time away from Felix, I make myself consider it anyway.

Ride-Along Fitness was my first big project, but it never really took off. I handed out nearly 200 invitations to our opening class, but that night was windy and 55 degrees and only one person showed up. The well-connected trainer I hired later admitted he didn’t even know how to share a Facebook post, so he wasn’t able to help advertise. Then I ran a Living Social deal, but it appeared next to a deal for an indoor kids' gym, so everyone went there and not a single person came to my website. Around the same time, the trainer’s mother became very ill and moved in with him and his family, so he had to bail. I also heard every excuse in the book from people who came to class and loved it, but wouldn’t commit to a regular exercise program. (The saddest was an overweight mother and her overweight teen, but I won’t get into that.) 

Anyhoo, the universe repaid my risk-taking with some fun and lucrative freelance projects, so it all evened out. And last week an even better opportunity presented itself. I applied for an adjunct teaching position at the local U, and was offered the job within about a week. I’m really excited about the opportunities to reconnect with my professional network (guest speakers!), boost my knowledge and performance in my full-time job and of course, spend time in the classroom. It’s something I’ve always enjoyed.

I almost didn’t apply for the class, assuming the hours would be inconvenient and the workload would be unmanageable. Fortunately I had an SMC friend to turn to for advice – thanks Jen! The class hours turned out to be perfect and will only mean a little extra time away from Felix, and he’ll get to spend most of that time with family. I’ll also have near total autonomy over my class, thereby controlling the workload as needed.

Ironically, my dad’s going back to school this fall for his PhD and we may see each other on campus on Wednesdays. And as excited as I am for another first day of school, I rejected my mom’s offer of "a new outfit" and I will not be taking a photo of myself wearing a backpack standing by the front door. Sorry! :) My backpack has become a diaper bag and I don’t need to increase the odds I’m mistaken for a student. (It’s a bit awkward when you’re at the front of the room and a student assumes you’re just up there waiting for the teacher.)

Do I have to shop here now?

Classes start in just over three weeks, and we have a trip to Seattle and another camping trip before then. Time to get busy enjoying what’s left of summer! I’ll leave you with a picture of Felix eating yogurt from a tube.

He kept flipping it over to see if he could eat from the closed end.

New Things

Felix does so many new and cute things lately, I feel like I'm always reaching for my camera (and filling up my friends' newsfeeds.)

He can find his belly button...

...and point to it.

He can find kitty claws one-by-one.

He can sit (mostly) nicely for dinner in a restaurant.

He can dance with older kids at an outdoor festival.

He can play outside 30 seconds after waking up in the morning.

He can vroom his truck across the whole yard.

He can do downward dog on a moving swing (sometimes without hands!)

He can (try to) eat pudding with a spoon.

He can make a phone call with anything next to his ear, like this flashlight.

Here's a short video of him answering the remote control. We're having a lot of fun at this age!

Fire Camp!

This weekend we had another big family camping trip lined up. A few wildfires started last week after thunderstorms moved through the area, so we considered canceling. But after looking at some maps and talking to the ranger, we decided to go for it. The air quality in town was pretty bad due to another fire, so we wouldn’t have been able to do anything outdoors, anyway.

Felix and I headed up on Friday afternoon. The smoke was visible about an hour outside of town, and kept getting thicker as we approached the campground. As I set up our tent and made dinner, the people across from us decided to pack up and leave. Choppers were passing overhead one after another, and it made for a pretty eerie evening.  I kept a smile on my face and happily pointed to the sky saying, “chopper!” whenever one flew over, so Felix wouldn’t get scared. The air smelled clear, so I figured the smoke only looked thick due to the angle of the sun.

On our way...

Still a few miles from the campground.

Gourmet dinner!

We fill up a site pretty well.

Thankfully it didn’t get worse, and a couple of hours later, Brian, Jill and baby Vienne arrived. She broke the family record for earliest camping trip at just 3 weeks and 5 days old! It was so cute to see her using the same Rock N Play at the site that Felix did just a year ago.

My parents and older niece arrived well after dark and got set up. By morning, the smoke had cleared and we enjoyed a wonderful breakfast around the campfire. Later we hiked the Warm Springs Trail to where an official Fire Camp was set up – a massive operation. Trucks, air-conditioned tents, helipads, you name it. We even got to see a helicopter with a bucket of water pulled from the river on its way to the fire. The fire was growing, but the wind was blowing in our favor.

My dad, the former fire fighter, explaining all the gear to us.

We got back to camp around noon, had a leisurely lunch and went down to the river. Felix loves every minute of being in or near water. In addition to throwing rocks as usual, he liked walking (with help) along the riverbank and standing on partially-submerged rocks. 

After all that fun, it was the hottest part of the afternoon. The campground was virtually empty, which is something I’ve never seen on a Saturday. We dragged ourselves back to the campsite and chased the shade nearly into the next site. Finally we checked the time – 2:15. Doh! Four hours till the heat of the day would pass…so my niece grabbed wet wash cloths, a mirror and comb, and walked around giving us all spa treatments. We also played Pictionary in the dirt with her walking stick.

Cool washcloth, shoulder massage and hairdo. He's not exaggerating, it really felt amazing!

The rest of the trip was perfectly uneventful. Lovely dinner, soak in the hot springs, Dutch oven peach cobbler, decent night’s sleep, lovely breakfast, nice hike, and a quiet drive back to Boise.

In the hot springs, next to an icy cold river. (This is his new fake smile face.)

Felix and I are staying busy close to home until our trip to Seattle in a couple of weeks. Time to clean my feet and find some shorts without holes in them…

Oh, and Felix started walking this week! He took his first steps last Tuesday, and will often take quite a few in a row when encouraged. He always gets a huge, exhilarated grin on his face when he’s successful.

Yellin' in the camper with grandma.