Most Laughable Fundraising Ideas

I did another Google search to make sure I've found all the grants I can apply for. (I'm automatically disqualified from most for being single and/or not religious.) Some of the ideas out there are pretty worthless, and these are the top three so far:

• Use funds in your savings accounts
• Use a home equity loan
• Ask parents for an advance on your inheritance

First of all, pretty sure I thought of using money I already have. Secondly, almost no one has equity in their homes in this market. And third, really? I can hear the conversation now. "Mom and dad, I know you're in great health and you haven't even retired yet. But could you do me a favor and calculate what your net worth might be in oh, say 20 or 30 years and go ahead and give me my share? Great, thanks."