Most Offensive Remark...Ever

Today I went in for my annual eye exam at Eyemart Express, where I used to work and where I've been a patient for 11 years. I thought I was scheduled to see my usual doctor, but for whatever reason, a different doctor called me back. Nice enough looking older guy.

We went into the exam room and Felix sat on my lap, being his typical happy self. I thought the doctor was going to start the pre-exam questions, but the conversation went something like this:

Doc: Did you work outside the home before baby?
Me, caught off-guard: Uh, yeah, I work.
Doc: Oh, what did you do?
Me: I worked, and I still work full-time, in marketing.
Doc, looking at Felix: You need to say, "Mommy, that hurts me. You should stay at home with me!"

Uh, did he just say that?!

Me, stunned: Oh he loves daycare. Everyone there just adores him.
Doc, after a pause: Well the reason I'm asking is that I need to know how many hours you spend in front of the computer each day. 

Here's an idea, smartypants: Ask me how many hours a day I spend in front of the computer.

I was so shocked by his remarks, I spent the rest of the exam wishing I could gather my perfectly well-adjusted baby and his car seat and just walk out...but I was desperate for new contact lenses and I couldn't have driven anywhere. So I just sat there and felt offended and hurt, wanting to cry and kick him at the same time.

Would I love to be independently wealthy? Yeah. But let's be honest - taking care of an infant 24/7 is exhausting. I'm glad I have a job I enjoy, and I'm glad I can afford to pay for daycare with someone qualified and licensed, who I trust fully to care for Felix 5 days of every week. When I work, I benefit from growing as a person and building my career so we can live more comfortably, and Felix learns that his needs will be met and he can find love anywhere he needs it - not just at home with mommy. And we are both be better, stronger people for it.

Obviously, I'll report this doctor to the appropriate parties. But what really saddens me is that no strongly-worded letter will get rid of the sexism that still exists, especially in conservative, low-education states like Idaho. We sure have our work cut out for us.

To my readers outside Idaho/Utah: Asking a woman if she "works outside the home" is basically Mormon code for finding out if someone is Mormon and/or a stay-at-home mom, which is, of course, the preferred lifestyle (of many) for women in Idaho. In addition, the Idaho Legislature has routinely denied stricter regulations for daycares and funding for pre-K programs because they believe children should be at home with their mothers.
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