Crazy How Fast

Less than a year ago, I made room for a baby in my room. I cleaned out the closet, donated bags of stuff, refinished a rocking chair and set up a bassinet.

Tonight, that baby finished moving out. The bassinet was the last piece to go. I had been letting him play in it while I got ready for work in the mornings, but he (suddenly) pulls up to stand so reliably, it was only a matter of time till he toppled himself right out of it. I'm so used to doing a balancing act around all his stuff in here, I hardly know what to do with all the extra space!

The large semi-annual consignment sale is coming up next week and I love participating not only for the extra cash, but because it's a great motivator to really sort through stuff twice a year. As I posted on Facebook, I thought I'd get sentimental about selling his bassinet, but packing it up reminded me what a nightmare it always was - "portable" my behind - so I'm totally fine seeing it go.

Felix has been doing great in his own room. It's right across the hall and I can hear him breathing if I hold really still. My new goal is to stop giving him his last bottle in bed, so I feed him in the rocker and put him down awake and empty-handed. Most nights he's fine; some he cries for a few minutes. His teeth will thank me later.

I'm up! Now what?

Cousins

When I made my decision to adopt, my sister-in-law was about 4 months pregnant and we didn’t yet know the gender of the baby. I thought it would be nice to have kids close together in age, but didn’t get my heart set on the idea.

Fast forward to now and here we are with two little boys just 5 months apart in age. Hayden and Felix have taken turns poking, squishing, patting and smacking each other, and Hayden has made a regular habit of climbing into Felix’s car seat, bouncy chair, swing and walker, even if Felix is still in it.

Hayden has learned which items belong to Felix, which is pretty impressive at 14 months, especially considering they’re items that are similar to his, like bottle lids and cans of formula. This weekend he carried a tub of formula to grandpa so he could make a bottle for Felix. He’d already eaten, but grandpa went through the motions and made all the scooping and swishing sounds, then Hayden carried the formula back to my diaper bag.

I didn’t grow up near cousins and I was always jealous of those who did – it was like having built-in friends. Someone who’d always be up for a sleepover, someone who would always be on your side. I’m so glad Felix will have that.

Felix 4 weeks, Hayden 6 months. Both in their back-up onesies which both happened to be yellow.

We thought Hayden looked like such a tank next to Felix.

Giving kisses, September 2012.

Legally cousins! National Adoption Day, November 2012.

This weekend. "Eh, I'm used to it" says Felix.

Yay for March

We're fast approaching the one-year mark of all the exciting news I received last spring. From getting a call at work that there was a potential birth mother, to the drawn-out process of getting her my profile, and finally getting the news that she'd chosen me.

The first person to hear about any of it was a coworker. We shared an office and I stepped out to take a call from the attorney. I came back in, trembling a little, "They want to show my profile to a birth mom!!" Suddenly it was all so real. I always thought I'd keep everything secret, but I emailed my whole family right away, instructing them not to get excited.

Felix is 9 1/2 months and has learned so many new things in the past week alone. He can mimic actions, so he's started to wave hello/goodbye, give high-5s and play with his toys the "right" way, putting items into containers and pushing buttons to see the result. This probably means he's close to using his signs, too, which will be pretty fun. He can also drink out of a sippy cup with the no-spill valve in it. Any parent will tell you that's a huge win.

I think my favorite part about the weekends is having breakfast with Felix.

Mr. Bed Head eating his Morning Os.

We started this weekend with a full 8 hours of sleep for BOTH of us, which was a first. We had a packed day and have lots more on tap for this month - a big consignment sale, a hot springs day trip, an Easter egg hunt, mommy and me gym class, and Felix's 9-month appointment (obviously a month late). I'm also in the early planning stages of his first birthday party and my sister-in-law's baby shower, and waiting to hear if my wine bottle lamps have been accepted into an art show. All three events will happen within a couple of weeks of each other in May. Eeks.

On a side note, I continue to discover hurdles for working parents. The only baby gym class I could find for Felix's age outside business hours is at 8:45 am on a Saturday, 20 minutes away. And the big consignment sale no longer holds evening hours for the general public, which is ridiculous.

I'm not just whining about it these hurdles, though. I've started an LLC and paired with a fitness instructor to start offering evening and weekend stroller-friendly fitness classes (related to a previous rant). The logo and business cards have been designed, and we're very close to holding our first class. I really hope there's as much need for it as I think there is, and have to trust my advertising skills will allow me to reach the right audiences. Either way, I will take any luck you can send my way!

Party Over Here

Yesterday our adoption group was supposed to have a big party, so I invited Natalya to come with us and then stay for a sleepover. I thought it would be neat for her to meet other mixed-race families built through adoption. Unfortunately the party was cancelled, but we still had a great time with our sleepover.

Putting on a show!

We played video games and rode a carousel at a place down the street, had a picnic in the living room, watched Hotel Translyvania, painted each others' fingernails, watched videos of her as a baby and little girl, and told ghost stories in bed with flashlights under our chins. Felix was pretty excited to have a guest and seemed to recognize her presence was unusual. He loves saying "hi" lately - sounds like "EYE!" - and he said it to her many times throughout the evening.

You'd think a 6 year-old girl with a baby brother would be over baby boys, but she went on and on about Felix. "When he looks at me and smiles, it just makes me want to give him a little kiss and a little hug." And then she'd give him a kiss and a hug, and he'd smile even bigger.

Rise and shine at 7:30am...

She also didn't disappoint when it came to classic kid questions:

How did you get Felix without a dad?
(A quick explanation that birth mom and birth dad couldn't take care of him satisfied her.)

What's wrong with that curl in your hair?
(Thanks for noticing.)

Why don't you go to church?
(I said something about different beliefs, then she said "I don't think we should talk about this" and changed the subject.)

But how do they KNOW they're having a girl?
(I explained the ultrasound process again, using a tube of lotion for the wand and lifting up my shirt for visual aid this time. "It takes a picture through her belly?!?!")

And finally, this morning while I was making small, medium and large pancakes for the three of us, she said, "When I'm grown up and by myself, and I have a baby, I'm going to make him tiny pancakes, just like you do for Felix."

Sleep, Taxes and Babysitters

I should’ve learned from my fellow mommy bloggers that raving about sleep is the best way to jinx it. Felix’s once-a-night waking was short-lived, and he was back to waking 3x a night within a month. Monday morning he woke throwing a fit at 5:30 and I knew it was time to starting putting him in his own room. It’s been a rough, inconsistent week, but he slept through the night twice.  

I’m glad I waited until I was ready to move him into his own room, instead of forcing myself to do it earlier and feeling awful the whole time. I’ll admit the first couple of nights were pretty lonely not having his bottles on my nightstand and not hearing his little snores. But the cats were allowed back in my room and they helped keep me company.

Monica checking out Felix's new sleeping digs.

Switching gears - I received notice from the State of Idaho yesterday that my tax return was processed (no review or audit, yes!) but they won’t give me my full refund without a SSN for Felix. Without that number, I don’t qualify for all the dependent-related credits, including the adoption credit. I wasn’t able to find a local tax preparer who had experience with adoption, but the TaxACT software and the adoption agency told me I could file without a SSN, so that’s frustrating. I can’t get a SSN without his birth certificate, which was requested from Oregon more than 3 months ago. 

And finally, I always thought parents who canceled plans because they “couldn’t find a babysitter” were just using it as an excuse to bail. But it turns out, sitters are really flaky! I posted an ad on Craigslist and asked friends for references, one of whom posted an ad on Care.com on my behalf, to help me find a sitter. I got lots of responses but none of them turned into people I could actually call to babysit. Most just stopped responding to my emails and one even was a no-show when we were supposed to meet one night after work. If they were all backing out after meeting me, I’d take it personally. But most don’t even respond when I ask how much they charge and whether they’d like to meet us.

Who doesn't want to babysit this little angel?

Doors

This isn't a metaphorical post about opportunity knocking. It's about Felix's latest obsession. Closet doors, bedroom doors, front doors, back doors, cupboard doors, dog kennel doors and doors on entertainment centers. He just can't get enough of the open-close-open-close business. If it makes a sound or clangs when it closes, like the dog kennel, even better!

He mastered the little pop-up toys a few weeks ago, and I figure that once he's 100% sure that every other door works the same way, he'll lose interest and move onto something else. But for now, it's pretty funny watching him make a beeline for the nearest door to try it out.

Making sure that giant Mexican restaurant doors work like other doors.

My Boy is Advanced

Felix entered the screaming-to-communicate phase a whole two weeks early. Yes, I am one proud mama. It’s a special sort of grating scream that says, “Hey, I don’t want to be in my car seat.” Or “Hey, my bottle ran out and I could use a couple more ounces.”

I was baffled by the sudden onset of the screaming, so I Googled and learned it’s totally normal around 9 months old, and also a great time to really start signing. I’ve been signing “milk” and “eat” for a while, and recently added “up” and “more”.

Also, the trick with the screaming is to reward the communication without rewarding the scream itself. Uh, okay. My best guess is to respond quietly while using a sign and addressing his need. The car seat is challenging since it’s not optional, but I’ve been giving him unique toys like a coat hanger or my comb to keep him entertained. 

Mmm, hanger.

I also started thinking he might be a late walker, since he is such a good army crawler with little interest in getting up on all fours. Then suddenly over the weekend he got up on all fours to try and crawl, and he started going from sitting to knees (instead of face-planting into the carpet). He also started pulling up onto his knees in his bassinet, so we could very well be on our way to walking by 1 year. Crazy how fast they change! It really doesn’t make a difference to me, but I hope to have his birthday party in the park and would be fun if he could toddle around the playground.

In the past week, Felix has also:

• Tasted a nickel, a penny, cat food and dog food
• Started saying “ma-ma” with as much meaning as “da-da” and “dit-dit”
• Army-crawling into the kitchen to watch me make dinner
• Giving kisses by slowly leaning into my face with a slobbery open mouth (love it!)