Ten Months

My little boy turned 10 months old last week, and it hasn’t even been a year since his birth mom saw my profile. Sometimes I still can’t believe how fast it all happened.

Official 10 month photo.

He also had a well baby appointment last week and everything went great. The doctor’s first words to us always go something like this: “Felix! What a great name. I don’t have any other Felixes. And he LOOKS like a Felix! I’ll probably say that every time he’s here!” Then she goes on to rave about his health and marvels that he hasn’t been in for an illness despite going to daycare, and he giggles while she listens to his heart and looks in his ears.

With regard to stats, he’s just below average for height and weight, and in the 90^th percentile for head size. I realized that the infant bike helmets aren’t fitting not because of size, but because of shape. His head is wide from left to right, but kids’ helmets are an oval shape like adults’ helmets.

And the milestones keep coming fast. Suddenly he outgrew his Exersaucers at home and daycare, grabbing the edge and trying to flip himself out. So I sold ours on Craigslist, freeing up an insane amount of room in our living room. His bassinet sold at the consignment sale and I picked up a hiking kid carrier and a riding toy.

First scrambled egg with spinach and cheese.

Trying to get away from the grass without touching it.

Sleep-wise, Felix has made great strides recently. He no longer goes to bed with a bottle and routinely sleeps 6 – 9 hours. In the morning, the pets all follow me into his room like a little parade, and he smiles at them through the side of his Pack N Play. 

Sleepy Sunday morning peekaboo.

Unfortunately, my wine bottle lamps didn’t make the cut for Modern Art this year, but I’ve heard they have hundreds of applicants so I’m not taking it personally. We also moved my sister-in-law’s baby shower to June, so May isn’t looking as crazy as it was a few weeks ago. 

On a whim, I checked the IRS website to see if they could provide the status of my refund. Much to my shock and surprise, it had already been approved and the money direct deposited into my account! (More than 80% of adoptive families get reviewed or audited, regardless of whether they us a tax preparer.) We are now free from medical bills, the attorney’s remaining fees will be paid off this week and I hope to have the entire adoption loan paid off by fall.

And finally, this weekend we’re taking a road trip to visit our friends in Baker City, where we stayed right after Felix was born. I’m toying with the idea of stopping by the hospital where he was born on the way, to say hi to the nurses. It’s a really small hospital and many of them were long-time care providers for his birth mom, so I’m pretty sure they’ll remember us.

Crazy How Fast, Part II

Felix had a big weekend!

• Thursday he started pulling up to stand on every piece of furniture he could find
• Friday night his first tooth broke through (finally!)
• Saturday he started cruising
• Sunday he figured out how to fully climb stairs
• Sunday he also started throwing the ball to me when playing catch - sometimes rolling, sometimes an overhead toss

  

  Now where will I feed the cats?

  He's also developed a real interest in books. Part of our new go-to-bed-without-a-bottle routine involves more story time, so now he loves to grab books and chatter while flipping through the pages.

Winding down after hot springs with a little reading.

Another chapter after bath time.

And again in the morning while I get ready for work.

His daycare provider thinks he's going to blast through the next few physical milestones, and I remember reading it's not unusual for them to focus on one area and  make a lot of progress in a short amount of time. However, my niece was the same at this age and abruptly shifted gears to focus on language around 1 year, not walking until 14 months.

Either way, I'm loving every minute of it, no matter how fleeting.

Crazy How Fast

Less than a year ago, I made room for a baby in my room. I cleaned out the closet, donated bags of stuff, refinished a rocking chair and set up a bassinet.

Tonight, that baby finished moving out. The bassinet was the last piece to go. I had been letting him play in it while I got ready for work in the mornings, but he (suddenly) pulls up to stand so reliably, it was only a matter of time till he toppled himself right out of it. I'm so used to doing a balancing act around all his stuff in here, I hardly know what to do with all the extra space!

The large semi-annual consignment sale is coming up next week and I love participating not only for the extra cash, but because it's a great motivator to really sort through stuff twice a year. As I posted on Facebook, I thought I'd get sentimental about selling his bassinet, but packing it up reminded me what a nightmare it always was - "portable" my behind - so I'm totally fine seeing it go.

Felix has been doing great in his own room. It's right across the hall and I can hear him breathing if I hold really still. My new goal is to stop giving him his last bottle in bed, so I feed him in the rocker and put him down awake and empty-handed. Most nights he's fine; some he cries for a few minutes. His teeth will thank me later.

I'm up! Now what?

Cousins

When I made my decision to adopt, my sister-in-law was about 4 months pregnant and we didn’t yet know the gender of the baby. I thought it would be nice to have kids close together in age, but didn’t get my heart set on the idea.

Fast forward to now and here we are with two little boys just 5 months apart in age. Hayden and Felix have taken turns poking, squishing, patting and smacking each other, and Hayden has made a regular habit of climbing into Felix’s car seat, bouncy chair, swing and walker, even if Felix is still in it.

Hayden has learned which items belong to Felix, which is pretty impressive at 14 months, especially considering they’re items that are similar to his, like bottle lids and cans of formula. This weekend he carried a tub of formula to grandpa so he could make a bottle for Felix. He’d already eaten, but grandpa went through the motions and made all the scooping and swishing sounds, then Hayden carried the formula back to my diaper bag.

I didn’t grow up near cousins and I was always jealous of those who did – it was like having built-in friends. Someone who’d always be up for a sleepover, someone who would always be on your side. I’m so glad Felix will have that.

Felix 4 weeks, Hayden 6 months. Both in their back-up onesies which both happened to be yellow.

We thought Hayden looked like such a tank next to Felix.

Giving kisses, September 2012.

Legally cousins! National Adoption Day, November 2012.

This weekend. "Eh, I'm used to it" says Felix.

Yay for March

We're fast approaching the one-year mark of all the exciting news I received last spring. From getting a call at work that there was a potential birth mother, to the drawn-out process of getting her my profile, and finally getting the news that she'd chosen me.

The first person to hear about any of it was a coworker. We shared an office and I stepped out to take a call from the attorney. I came back in, trembling a little, "They want to show my profile to a birth mom!!" Suddenly it was all so real. I always thought I'd keep everything secret, but I emailed my whole family right away, instructing them not to get excited.

Felix is 9 1/2 months and has learned so many new things in the past week alone. He can mimic actions, so he's started to wave hello/goodbye, give high-5s and play with his toys the "right" way, putting items into containers and pushing buttons to see the result. This probably means he's close to using his signs, too, which will be pretty fun. He can also drink out of a sippy cup with the no-spill valve in it. Any parent will tell you that's a huge win.

I think my favorite part about the weekends is having breakfast with Felix.

Mr. Bed Head eating his Morning Os.

We started this weekend with a full 8 hours of sleep for BOTH of us, which was a first. We had a packed day and have lots more on tap for this month - a big consignment sale, a hot springs day trip, an Easter egg hunt, mommy and me gym class, and Felix's 9-month appointment (obviously a month late). I'm also in the early planning stages of his first birthday party and my sister-in-law's baby shower, and waiting to hear if my wine bottle lamps have been accepted into an art show. All three events will happen within a couple of weeks of each other in May. Eeks.

On a side note, I continue to discover hurdles for working parents. The only baby gym class I could find for Felix's age outside business hours is at 8:45 am on a Saturday, 20 minutes away. And the big consignment sale no longer holds evening hours for the general public, which is ridiculous.

I'm not just whining about it these hurdles, though. I've started an LLC and paired with a fitness instructor to start offering evening and weekend stroller-friendly fitness classes (related to a previous rant). The logo and business cards have been designed, and we're very close to holding our first class. I really hope there's as much need for it as I think there is, and have to trust my advertising skills will allow me to reach the right audiences. Either way, I will take any luck you can send my way!

Party Over Here

Yesterday our adoption group was supposed to have a big party, so I invited Natalya to come with us and then stay for a sleepover. I thought it would be neat for her to meet other mixed-race families built through adoption. Unfortunately the party was cancelled, but we still had a great time with our sleepover.

Putting on a show!

We played video games and rode a carousel at a place down the street, had a picnic in the living room, watched Hotel Translyvania, painted each others' fingernails, watched videos of her as a baby and little girl, and told ghost stories in bed with flashlights under our chins. Felix was pretty excited to have a guest and seemed to recognize her presence was unusual. He loves saying "hi" lately - sounds like "EYE!" - and he said it to her many times throughout the evening.

You'd think a 6 year-old girl with a baby brother would be over baby boys, but she went on and on about Felix. "When he looks at me and smiles, it just makes me want to give him a little kiss and a little hug." And then she'd give him a kiss and a hug, and he'd smile even bigger.

Rise and shine at 7:30am...

She also didn't disappoint when it came to classic kid questions:

How did you get Felix without a dad?
(A quick explanation that birth mom and birth dad couldn't take care of him satisfied her.)

What's wrong with that curl in your hair?
(Thanks for noticing.)

Why don't you go to church?
(I said something about different beliefs, then she said "I don't think we should talk about this" and changed the subject.)

But how do they KNOW they're having a girl?
(I explained the ultrasound process again, using a tube of lotion for the wand and lifting up my shirt for visual aid this time. "It takes a picture through her belly?!?!")

And finally, this morning while I was making small, medium and large pancakes for the three of us, she said, "When I'm grown up and by myself, and I have a baby, I'm going to make him tiny pancakes, just like you do for Felix."

Sleep, Taxes and Babysitters

I should’ve learned from my fellow mommy bloggers that raving about sleep is the best way to jinx it. Felix’s once-a-night waking was short-lived, and he was back to waking 3x a night within a month. Monday morning he woke throwing a fit at 5:30 and I knew it was time to starting putting him in his own room. It’s been a rough, inconsistent week, but he slept through the night twice.  

I’m glad I waited until I was ready to move him into his own room, instead of forcing myself to do it earlier and feeling awful the whole time. I’ll admit the first couple of nights were pretty lonely not having his bottles on my nightstand and not hearing his little snores. But the cats were allowed back in my room and they helped keep me company.

Monica checking out Felix's new sleeping digs.

Switching gears - I received notice from the State of Idaho yesterday that my tax return was processed (no review or audit, yes!) but they won’t give me my full refund without a SSN for Felix. Without that number, I don’t qualify for all the dependent-related credits, including the adoption credit. I wasn’t able to find a local tax preparer who had experience with adoption, but the TaxACT software and the adoption agency told me I could file without a SSN, so that’s frustrating. I can’t get a SSN without his birth certificate, which was requested from Oregon more than 3 months ago. 

And finally, I always thought parents who canceled plans because they “couldn’t find a babysitter” were just using it as an excuse to bail. But it turns out, sitters are really flaky! I posted an ad on Craigslist and asked friends for references, one of whom posted an ad on Care.com on my behalf, to help me find a sitter. I got lots of responses but none of them turned into people I could actually call to babysit. Most just stopped responding to my emails and one even was a no-show when we were supposed to meet one night after work. If they were all backing out after meeting me, I’d take it personally. But most don’t even respond when I ask how much they charge and whether they’d like to meet us.

Who doesn't want to babysit this little angel?