Mother's Day

I'm probably one of the last mommy bloggers to write about this Mother's Day. There's no reason in particular for the late post, other than the fact I'm extremely busy and the holiday was nothing out of the ordinary this year. It actually paled in comparison to last year's event, as I was preparing to get up early the next morning to drive to Oregon for Felix's birth. Yes, it will be hard to top the anticipation and excitement of Mother's Day 2012!

This year, I started the weekend with spectacularly bad sleep on Thursday night, followed by two days and nights of house sitting for my parents. The first night, their dog, my dog and Felix whined lots and woke often, leading to a second horrible night of sleep. I tried everything - yelling at the dogs, squirting them with water bottles, ignoring them. I wheeled Felix in his mini Pack N Play out of our bedroom and into the hallway, but that didn't help anyone sleep more soundly. I ended up closing my dog in the downstairs bathroom, wheeling Felix back into my old bedroom, and sleeping on the not-quite-5'6" couch in the family room downstairs, which has no curtains, so I had to throw a blanket over my face. I finally got everyone settled around 5 AM and started to doze off. Then....chirp! tweet! the birds were up outside. Sigh.

Felix after one rough night.

Sleeping in the mini Pack N Play. This is about how I felt on the couch.

Saturday was hectic and hot and involved way too much time in a car, coordinating all the required pieces for my niece's annual dance recital in a nearby town.

Saturday night was mostly a repeat sleep-wise, and I was painfully tired when Mother's Day rolled around. By 10 AM, I realized I was experiencing the true meaning of motherhood. I'd unloaded someone else's dishes, done two loads of laundry (one by hand), made my own coffee and breakfast, and had served 4 meals and a snack to creatures who couldn't do so for themselves. Later that day, I ended up doing all the grocery shopping and meal prep for dinner for the entire family, and coordinating a trip to the airport to pick up my mom. Oh, and I made sure we called my grandma to say Happy Mother's Day, since dad's in Africa and wouldn't likely be picking up a phone.

So yeah. I don't mind helping out, especially when family really needs it. But last weekend really wiped me out! I did receive some really nice cards, a cute gift from my niece and sister-in-law, and a handprint-flower and footprint-butterfly garden painting from Felix.

A Beautiful Birthday

Felix turned one this week! His birthday was yesterday, and I took the day off work to spend it with him. The weather was a gorgeous 75, sunny and breezy, and all our plans went off without a hitch.

We started by visiting the bilingual daycare he’ll start part-time when he’s 18 months old. They have about 3 structured hours during the day and the rest is meal, nap and free time, like a typical daycare. I’m so excited for him to start really learning Spanish! He loves his current daycare and the bilingual place is almost twice the price, so that’s why we’re not going full-time right away. 

Next we headed to the zoo – Felix’s first trip. Three hundred junior high students and 40 parent helpers got there right before we did, so it was a zoo within a zoo for a while! Felix loved the animals, especially the giant hares and jellyfish. There was lots of pointing and saying “that”, “yeah” and “Jayda” (our dog’s name). A leopard growled at us, the lions sat right near the glass, and the giraffes wrapped around each other and licked each other’s faces. Pretty darn cute. We rode the carousel and bought a book about baby tigers before we left. You can watch a video of the gibbon monkeys howling on Youtube.

You're going to hold on to me, right?!

Showing me the giant hares.

Best birthday ever, mom!

Next we stopped by his cousins’ house for a little playtime, and then it was back in the car for a playdate picnic at the park. I heard about it at the last minute and didn’t have time to bring a snack, but everyone there was happy to share their graham crackers and fruit with us.

After that, we visited Uncle Brian at work. His coworker gave me some freelance projects during maternity leave last summer, and she hadn’t seen Felix in a really long time. Then we ran home for a very special birthday dinner of leftover mac n cheese (hey, it was organic!) then off to Ride-Along Fitness.

Felix was sleeping hard well before 8 pm. I left him on the chair in the living room, then gently woke him up for a bottle, pjs and the first-ever reading of Felix’s Birth Story, a book I had made that covers me getting “the call” to us coming home together. 

 

His birthday party is this Saturday in the park. The forecast says 72 and sunny – fingers crossed!

On Openness

With Mother's Day and Felix's first birthday coming up, I found myself shopping jewelry stores tonight for something special to send his birth mom. Even though her pregnancy was a secret, even though she might not want to wear it, even though she might rather have cash, etc etc.

I didn't have a budget or style of jewelry in mind, so I just sort of wandered the cases to see what caught my eye. I was looking at some pretty emerald earrings when I realized, I don't know if her ears are pierced. And it sort of hit me that she's really a stranger to us, and that seems so sad and wrong.

When I started the adoption journey, the idea of an open adoption scared me. I wouldn't have turned down a match over it, but I was relieved by the little contact Felix's birth mom was requesting. That has all changed now. Maybe as a result of talking to other adoptive families, or watching The Baby Wait, or my own growth into the role of a parent. Either way, I wish she was a part of our lives. I wish she was coming to his birthday party.

I send updates through the agency every few months and it kills me not knowing if she's actually receiving them. Apparently she has chosen not to send anything back. I would love to have a private email address or Facebook page to interact with her instead. I made a birth story book for Felix for his birthday, but the only picture I have of him with her is very low-res, his back is to the camera and you can barely see the side of her face. The agency coordinator took some, but hasn't been able to download them from her camera. (Seriously.)

Ironically, as I long for more openness with birth mom, I am sharing our adoption story less and less with people I meet. It's definitely becoming more Felix's story and less mine. (And I have to admit, all the questions get exhausting.) This has led to some very confusing conversations, because I forget new people don't know. One recent exchange went like this:

- Do you speak Spanish because of your husband?
          - Oh, no, I'm not married.
- Oh, uh, sorry! Is he in Mexico? (Head nod toward Felix.)
          - (Totally confused for a moment, then I remember I mentioned living in Mexico and have to backtrack and clear it all up.)

Tonight I ended up finding a really pretty necklace with three connected hearts. The hearts on the top and bottom are silver with diamond accents, and the one in the middle is a darker color (rose gold overlay?) I was able to purchase a 2-year protection plan for it, and the saleswoman started asking all kinds of questions. What's her phone number? Uh, I don't have that. Her address? Nope. Full name? I know it, but only because the hospital forgot to black it out on Felix's wristband. What's her zip code? I could Google it. Should I just use your information? Uh, no...

Six months ago, I would have volunteered the whole situation and all the details, but not tonight. I'm sure she was totally confused about why I had no idea who this lovely necklace is for, but that's a mystery she'll just have to live with.

Felix was extra patient and quiet throughout the evening. His reward was a bit of free time to roam and bang metal fixtures while the lady packaged up the necklace.

If you ever want the mall to yourself, go on a Tuesday evening.

Food, Food, Food

As Felix approaches his first birthday, we're making so many transitions, it’s hard to keep track. I bought what will hopefully be our last tub of formula, but forgot to buy milk so I can start introducing it. The move to sippy cups has been stalled because I can’t find any with ounce marks (required to make formula) and I can’t find more of the type we already have. He likes them and they don’t leak, so I’d rather not switch brands. We tried a cup with a straw, but he hasn’t figured it out yet.

I added a high chair upstairs, and Felix now eats a big breakfast every morning while I get ready for work. He’s so hungry when he first wakes up, pretty much nothing gets dropped onto the carpet.

He’s also totally over baby food. He’ll block his mouth and try to grab the spoon when I feed it to him, and he’d much rather just have bites of what’s on my plate. I started sending lunch with him to daycare a couple of weeks ago. A gigantic mess often results, mostly due to experimenting with textures (he eventually eats most of it). His daycare provider says he loves sitting at the table and eating with the other kids.

I guess you can call this "eating".

He’s had full-fat dairy, eggs, strawberries, and peanut butter all without issue. We even had a little chocolate test run this week, just to make sure he can have chocolate cake on the big day.

What is this "thin mint" you speak of?

His new trick is a downward dog pose, and he’ll hang out like that for 15 – 30 seconds at a time. His head is so big, sometimes it looks like he’s going to flip himself right over. He isn’t standing independently yet, but cruises, climbs stairs and gets off furniture like a champ. 

                              

Namaste.

Looking all grown up with shoes and socks from cousin Hayden.

Ride-Along Fitness classes started Tuesday, and one person came to class. Yay! I wasn't expecting anyone because the weather suddenly turned cold and very windy. The two of us had a good workout with the trainer, who was able to quickly modify the moves to keep the kids warm. All business start somewhere, right? Once I let go of the idea that I had to be profitable immediately (no business is), I started stressing a lot less.

We have a busy weekend ahead, including a family thing tonight, another class tomorrow morning, and two Cinco de Mayo parties on Sunday. Vamos ya!

Refrigerator Journalism

I attended a Ragan content marketing bootcamp conference last week, and one tip for writing good web content is to keep it scannable but valuable - something you'd clip and put on the fridge. And that model works perfectly for the mini updates I have this week.

• We are done buying baby food. Yeah! Felix pretty much eats what I eat, which surprises me because he still only has 2 teeth. Some of his favorite foods include sunshine toast, string cheese, pasta with veggies, cottage cheese and yogurt. No one has to worry my veggie boy won't get enough protein. He also seems to enjoy spicy food.

• Ride-Along Fitness now has a website and active Facebook page, and classes start Tuesday. I'm nervous as hell no one will show up but me. But hey, you have to start somewhere, right? It's been very interesting navigating my way to small business ownership. You'll be eaten alive by fees if you allow it, but perseverance has turned up fee-free options for everything I need, so far.

• Felix started voluntarily waving hello/goodbye today. The first recipient of this gesture was a random guy talking on his phone in a parking lot. 

• My dog had a ruptured anal gland last week (ick + expensive), so I was glad to have my Care Credit account and pet insurance plan. If you haven't already, get a quote for your pets at www.petsbest.com/chryssar. Nothing sucks more than not being able to afford vet care after a baby comes along, and I know other choice moms have struggled with the guilt such a situation can cause.

• The best adoption guide ever is now available for purchase on Nook and Kindle, and will soon be available on this blog for purchase through Paypal. Oh and look! Domestic Infant Adoption Guide: Fresh Advice for a New Economy already has 5-star reviews on both sites. :)

• I picked up Felix's birthday party invitations today, and they turned out SO cute! I took this picture last weekend, designed the invites in Illustrator and had them printed as 4x6 photos.

Sneak peak of the pic - I'll share the whole invitation later.

That's probably enough self-promotion for one post, so I'll wrap it up. I hope everyone is having as lovely a spring as we are here!

Almost 11 Months

We've had an interesting week. I had two trainers flake on the fitness class idea, Felix was sick with a virus that caused a fever, rash and blisters in his throat, and I finally finished writing my adoption guide. It's in the hands of four prospective adoptive families for feedback and (hopefully) positive reviews as soon as it's available for sale on Kindle and Nook, as soon as this weekend! I already have an idea for a second adoption-related book, but it can wait.

Felix's illness was minor and just kept him out of daycare for a day and a half due to fever rules, so I was able to work from my parents' house while he wreaked havoc played in the family room.

I found a third promising trainer - we're meeting for coffee tomorrow - and posted the job on the local university job board, as well. It would be so easy to just give up on the whole stroller-friendly fitness class idea, but I'd regret it if I didn't give it a chance to be successful.

Felix will be 11 months on Sunday and still only has two teeth, but he's officially in 12-month clothing and has started walking while pushing furniture across a hard floor. He's ravenous when he wakes up in the morning and wants dinner the second we get home, so I've had to rethink our eating schedule a bit. Our kitchen is on the first floor and he takes forever to eat breakfast, and I don't have time to sit downstairs every morning before work. The obvious answer is to get a second high chair so he can eat breakfast upstairs while I get ready for work, and we'll pack a lunch for daycare so he isn't starving by 5:30. (Instead of the current plan, which is one jar of fruit at daycare each day.) The baby food jars aren't very satisfying any more and he tends to want what's on my plate, whether it's spinach salad or Indian food. Late last night I made him his very own cream veggie sauce with whole wheat pasta spirals, and I'm anxious to hear if he willingly ate it for lunch today. His doctor wants him down to two bottles per day by the time he's a year old, and I'm fine with that, so that's our goal.

Pretty proud his hoodie covers his belly.

Cornbread and chili - yum!

My sister-in-law and brother have started their own daycare search with about as much luck as I had last summer. We started venting about pathetic maternity leave policies (in the US and especially Idaho) and may form a group to raise hell about it next legislative session. We'll see where that goes. Currently no leave is required for any employer with fewer than 50 employees, and while most offer something, it's usually not much. Our conservative legislature tends to think that weak maternity, daycare and pre-K policies will encourage more women to stay home and raise their children instead of working.

On that note, it's Friday and I'm outta here. :)

Happy Easter Weekend

This weekend was so beautiful, I hesitate to blog about it because words can’t do it justice. Saturday morning, I took Felix to the annual Easter party at my parents’ church. It’s held indoors and out, with lots of activities and egg hunts and little need to wait for “your turn” to do anything. The kids are always dressed up and running around with painted faces, carrying little baskets, and it’s enough to make almost anyone want a child. It was fun to finally have my own to participate. Felix and Hayden both especially loved the duck pond. Hayden eventually climbed in and starting crying when he couldn’t get out. 

Trying to scoop a duck.

Bunny boy.

Hi!

Easter party annual shot in front of the rabbit.

I found them!

Afterwards, we went to my parents’ house for torti-pizzas and Easter egg coloring.  Then Felix and I ran home where I made strawberry shortcake for a friend’s party that night and another recipe for Easter Sunday. At my friend’s party, I witnessed my very first gay engagement announcement. Obviously they won’t be getting married in Idaho, boo, but I’m excited for them nonetheless.

That night we slept at my parents’ house. Felix went to bed on time and slept nearly 10 hours without a peep. I love it!

The next morning, the Easter bunny had hidden eggs with puffs for the boys and candy for my niece. While they hunted, I prepared mimosas and a blackberry baked brie with spicy sliced almonds on the side as an appetizer, and Brian and Jill contributed a lovely assortment of fresh fruit with caramel dipping sauce. Our official Easter meal included a few new recipes, some hits, some misses.

OMGnomnomnomnom

This is his face when we burst into song (grace) around the dinner table.

Whopper egg kissy faces.

The family, and my new niece due in 12 weeks!

After lunch, we sat outside in the 70-degree weather and talked and played for a couple of hours. I made Felix’s felt Happy Birthday banner, the kids splashed around with a water table (after power naps in grandma’s two Pack N Plays), and my brother took a million pictures of all of us. We also enjoyed an amazing cherry pie from scratch, with vanilla ice cream.

Smooches.

Just before it was time to go, my niece said, “It’s been such a Happy Easter all day!”