Now I Can Relax...

My sister-in-law's long-awaited baby shower was finally this weekend. She's due in just a couple/few weeks, so it sort of felt like we were waiting till the last minute when we set the date of June 1. But the weather was beautiful, we had lots of help and delicious home made goodies, the turnout was great and I got lots of compliments on my efforts.

One cupcake had a plastic baby in it, and the recipient is supposedly next to get pregnant.

Measuring yarn to see whose prediction of Jill's belly size was most accurate. She has only gained 22 lbs. and many people guessed 2x too big!

Grandpa babysat all three grandkids during the shower. When I went to pick up Felix more than 4 hours after I dropped him off, he greeted me, then went back into the yard to play some more. (And fell asleep within seconds of being buckled into his car seat.)

Water table fun!

Classic railing peek.

When we got home last night, I was tempted to sit on my butt for the rest of the weekend. The baby shower marked the end of my event-planning commitments for the foreseeable future, and it felt so good to sit down and not have to make any lists or bake anything.

That didn't last long, though. This morning was too beautiful to sit home, so Felix and I went for a long walk on the greenbelt. Then we dropped off a meal for a family with a new baby (organized through our babies & tots group), and I got to snuggle an adorable, tiny 3-week old baby who's not even 7 pounds yet.

After that, we dropped off some more baby gear for my sister-in-law and brother, and stopped by Pizzalchik for lunch (featured on Food Network's Diners, Drive-Ins and Dives). We were way overdue for lunch and I could feel my stomach rumbling, and for some reason the service took for-EV-er. But the patio was lovely and Felix was extremely patient, and everyone around us raved about his behavior and wondered if he was always that happy.

Mmm pizza.

Felix's cognitive abilities are developing so fast right now. He figured out how to drink out of a straw, and knows to hand me things when he's done with them (or needs a refill.) He interacts with his toys in very deliberate ways, like pressing a button till it plays a particular song (then looking at me to dance), and has picked up on toy features I hadn't noticed. He loves pointing out every "ca" in the neighborhood, and has a very quiet, thoughtful tone when telling me about them. Here's a little video of him saying "ca".

Anyway, just in case you thought I was actually going to relax, I've gotten more serious about selling my house (and letting go of the investment property dream). I looked up some home selling tips and "get rid of the clutter" is obviously #1. So I spent a good chunk of tonight going through closets and pantries and putting together boxes and bags full of stuff I don't need, plus a few other larger items I never use. Now I need to have a yard sale. And inevitably, having a cleaner, fresher house (I had all the windows open) makes it seem extra nice, so I'm okay if selling doesn't work out for this year. But this place was in such shambles, I had to do something about it. I'll probably meet with a lender this week just to crunch some numbers.

Camping!

A couple of months ago, I got the itch and decided to start planning our annual Memorial Day camping trip, which gets cancelled about half the time due to bad weather. I was excited when my sister-in-law and brother agreed to come along, even though she’s only a few weeks away from her due date.

So we booked a campsite and invited some people, and as people do, many couldn’t decide and/or changed their RSVPs at the last minute. My parents were a big “maybe” for one night, since my dad had spent the month in Africa and wasn’t due home until almost midnight on Saturday. And last I heard before we left town, his first flight was delayed and possibly going to throw his whole schedule.

Anyway, 6 of us (plus Felix) headed up on Saturday. The weather was decent and we had fun setting up our tents, gathering firewood and going for little hikes. I set up Felix’s mini Pack N Play and he was mostly happy to stay in there as needed. He could stand up and cruise around the edge to see the whole campsite, and didn’t mind eating snacks and looking at books either. We had hobo stews (Felix’s first) and just enjoyed a really nice night around the campfire.

End of a long camping weekend? Nope, we'd been at the site for about 20 minutes when I took this!

Big boy chair, table, bowl and his first hobo stew.

Felix and I have never coslept, nor has he slept on a mattress or with blankets, so the first night was a little rough. He woke up crying around 3, then again at 5, but we cobbled together enough sleep to survive Sunday. My favorite part of camping is the early mornings around a damp campfire. Getting the fire going, boiling water for my instant Starbucks, cooking cinnamon rolls on sticks, waiting for the sun to peek over the mountain and send everyone running to change into shorts.

Early morning hike for firewood.

It started to rain Sunday afternoon, so we packed up our chairs and food and retreated to our tents for a nap. Felix and I slept hard, and I had a sneaking suspicion the sun had come out, but was so tired, I didn’t lift the blanket off my face. Then around 2:30, my brother woke me up, “Mom and dad just pulled in!” I could hardly believe that after all that traveling (including a 17-hour flight from Johannesburg to London), my dad was up to pack the camper and come join us. 

 

Wearing grandpa's hat.

The skies were clear and sunny by then, and my mom insisted on changing campsites from what they had reserved. We didn’t think much about it because she always wants to change campsites, but it all made sense when my other brother, sister-in-law, niece and nephew pulled up a few minutes later! We went from a chill group of 6 to a noisy clan of 13 spanning two campsites in less than an hour. Then the rain started again, and we all piled into my parents’ pop-up camper for drinks and games.

Come on in!

Dinner on night two. Jayda's on crumb watch, as usual.

The boys.

It sprinkled off and on that night, but Monday was clear. Felix and I got home around 1:30 in the afternoon, totally exhausted and filthy from head to toe. I can’t wait to do it again!

First Birthday Party in Photos

Cute monster cupcakes ready to party!

Kids from 15 months - 15 years were good sports about the games and silly hats!

 

 

Trying to get him to clap for the What Can Baby Do? game.

It takes a village...

Hmm...not bad, not bad.

Sharing with grandma.

Reading a book while sporting a chocolate goatee.

My brother surprised me with a video documenting Felix's first year, set to the most perfect song. Watch it here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=odua3bOPU7E

Mother's Day

I'm probably one of the last mommy bloggers to write about this Mother's Day. There's no reason in particular for the late post, other than the fact I'm extremely busy and the holiday was nothing out of the ordinary this year. It actually paled in comparison to last year's event, as I was preparing to get up early the next morning to drive to Oregon for Felix's birth. Yes, it will be hard to top the anticipation and excitement of Mother's Day 2012!

This year, I started the weekend with spectacularly bad sleep on Thursday night, followed by two days and nights of house sitting for my parents. The first night, their dog, my dog and Felix whined lots and woke often, leading to a second horrible night of sleep. I tried everything - yelling at the dogs, squirting them with water bottles, ignoring them. I wheeled Felix in his mini Pack N Play out of our bedroom and into the hallway, but that didn't help anyone sleep more soundly. I ended up closing my dog in the downstairs bathroom, wheeling Felix back into my old bedroom, and sleeping on the not-quite-5'6" couch in the family room downstairs, which has no curtains, so I had to throw a blanket over my face. I finally got everyone settled around 5 AM and started to doze off. Then....chirp! tweet! the birds were up outside. Sigh.

Felix after one rough night.

Sleeping in the mini Pack N Play. This is about how I felt on the couch.

Saturday was hectic and hot and involved way too much time in a car, coordinating all the required pieces for my niece's annual dance recital in a nearby town.

Saturday night was mostly a repeat sleep-wise, and I was painfully tired when Mother's Day rolled around. By 10 AM, I realized I was experiencing the true meaning of motherhood. I'd unloaded someone else's dishes, done two loads of laundry (one by hand), made my own coffee and breakfast, and had served 4 meals and a snack to creatures who couldn't do so for themselves. Later that day, I ended up doing all the grocery shopping and meal prep for dinner for the entire family, and coordinating a trip to the airport to pick up my mom. Oh, and I made sure we called my grandma to say Happy Mother's Day, since dad's in Africa and wouldn't likely be picking up a phone.

So yeah. I don't mind helping out, especially when family really needs it. But last weekend really wiped me out! I did receive some really nice cards, a cute gift from my niece and sister-in-law, and a handprint-flower and footprint-butterfly garden painting from Felix.

A Beautiful Birthday

Felix turned one this week! His birthday was yesterday, and I took the day off work to spend it with him. The weather was a gorgeous 75, sunny and breezy, and all our plans went off without a hitch.

We started by visiting the bilingual daycare he’ll start part-time when he’s 18 months old. They have about 3 structured hours during the day and the rest is meal, nap and free time, like a typical daycare. I’m so excited for him to start really learning Spanish! He loves his current daycare and the bilingual place is almost twice the price, so that’s why we’re not going full-time right away. 

Next we headed to the zoo – Felix’s first trip. Three hundred junior high students and 40 parent helpers got there right before we did, so it was a zoo within a zoo for a while! Felix loved the animals, especially the giant hares and jellyfish. There was lots of pointing and saying “that”, “yeah” and “Jayda” (our dog’s name). A leopard growled at us, the lions sat right near the glass, and the giraffes wrapped around each other and licked each other’s faces. Pretty darn cute. We rode the carousel and bought a book about baby tigers before we left. You can watch a video of the gibbon monkeys howling on Youtube.

You're going to hold on to me, right?!

Showing me the giant hares.

Best birthday ever, mom!

Next we stopped by his cousins’ house for a little playtime, and then it was back in the car for a playdate picnic at the park. I heard about it at the last minute and didn’t have time to bring a snack, but everyone there was happy to share their graham crackers and fruit with us.

After that, we visited Uncle Brian at work. His coworker gave me some freelance projects during maternity leave last summer, and she hadn’t seen Felix in a really long time. Then we ran home for a very special birthday dinner of leftover mac n cheese (hey, it was organic!) then off to Ride-Along Fitness.

Felix was sleeping hard well before 8 pm. I left him on the chair in the living room, then gently woke him up for a bottle, pjs and the first-ever reading of Felix’s Birth Story, a book I had made that covers me getting “the call” to us coming home together. 

 

His birthday party is this Saturday in the park. The forecast says 72 and sunny – fingers crossed!

On Openness

With Mother's Day and Felix's first birthday coming up, I found myself shopping jewelry stores tonight for something special to send his birth mom. Even though her pregnancy was a secret, even though she might not want to wear it, even though she might rather have cash, etc etc.

I didn't have a budget or style of jewelry in mind, so I just sort of wandered the cases to see what caught my eye. I was looking at some pretty emerald earrings when I realized, I don't know if her ears are pierced. And it sort of hit me that she's really a stranger to us, and that seems so sad and wrong.

When I started the adoption journey, the idea of an open adoption scared me. I wouldn't have turned down a match over it, but I was relieved by the little contact Felix's birth mom was requesting. That has all changed now. Maybe as a result of talking to other adoptive families, or watching The Baby Wait, or my own growth into the role of a parent. Either way, I wish she was a part of our lives. I wish she was coming to his birthday party.

I send updates through the agency every few months and it kills me not knowing if she's actually receiving them. Apparently she has chosen not to send anything back. I would love to have a private email address or Facebook page to interact with her instead. I made a birth story book for Felix for his birthday, but the only picture I have of him with her is very low-res, his back is to the camera and you can barely see the side of her face. The agency coordinator took some, but hasn't been able to download them from her camera. (Seriously.)

Ironically, as I long for more openness with birth mom, I am sharing our adoption story less and less with people I meet. It's definitely becoming more Felix's story and less mine. (And I have to admit, all the questions get exhausting.) This has led to some very confusing conversations, because I forget new people don't know. One recent exchange went like this:

- Do you speak Spanish because of your husband?
          - Oh, no, I'm not married.
- Oh, uh, sorry! Is he in Mexico? (Head nod toward Felix.)
          - (Totally confused for a moment, then I remember I mentioned living in Mexico and have to backtrack and clear it all up.)

Tonight I ended up finding a really pretty necklace with three connected hearts. The hearts on the top and bottom are silver with diamond accents, and the one in the middle is a darker color (rose gold overlay?) I was able to purchase a 2-year protection plan for it, and the saleswoman started asking all kinds of questions. What's her phone number? Uh, I don't have that. Her address? Nope. Full name? I know it, but only because the hospital forgot to black it out on Felix's wristband. What's her zip code? I could Google it. Should I just use your information? Uh, no...

Six months ago, I would have volunteered the whole situation and all the details, but not tonight. I'm sure she was totally confused about why I had no idea who this lovely necklace is for, but that's a mystery she'll just have to live with.

Felix was extra patient and quiet throughout the evening. His reward was a bit of free time to roam and bang metal fixtures while the lady packaged up the necklace.

If you ever want the mall to yourself, go on a Tuesday evening.

Food, Food, Food

As Felix approaches his first birthday, we're making so many transitions, it’s hard to keep track. I bought what will hopefully be our last tub of formula, but forgot to buy milk so I can start introducing it. The move to sippy cups has been stalled because I can’t find any with ounce marks (required to make formula) and I can’t find more of the type we already have. He likes them and they don’t leak, so I’d rather not switch brands. We tried a cup with a straw, but he hasn’t figured it out yet.

I added a high chair upstairs, and Felix now eats a big breakfast every morning while I get ready for work. He’s so hungry when he first wakes up, pretty much nothing gets dropped onto the carpet.

He’s also totally over baby food. He’ll block his mouth and try to grab the spoon when I feed it to him, and he’d much rather just have bites of what’s on my plate. I started sending lunch with him to daycare a couple of weeks ago. A gigantic mess often results, mostly due to experimenting with textures (he eventually eats most of it). His daycare provider says he loves sitting at the table and eating with the other kids.

I guess you can call this "eating".

He’s had full-fat dairy, eggs, strawberries, and peanut butter all without issue. We even had a little chocolate test run this week, just to make sure he can have chocolate cake on the big day.

What is this "thin mint" you speak of?

His new trick is a downward dog pose, and he’ll hang out like that for 15 – 30 seconds at a time. His head is so big, sometimes it looks like he’s going to flip himself right over. He isn’t standing independently yet, but cruises, climbs stairs and gets off furniture like a champ. 

                              

Namaste.

Looking all grown up with shoes and socks from cousin Hayden.

Ride-Along Fitness classes started Tuesday, and one person came to class. Yay! I wasn't expecting anyone because the weather suddenly turned cold and very windy. The two of us had a good workout with the trainer, who was able to quickly modify the moves to keep the kids warm. All business start somewhere, right? Once I let go of the idea that I had to be profitable immediately (no business is), I started stressing a lot less.

We have a busy weekend ahead, including a family thing tonight, another class tomorrow morning, and two Cinco de Mayo parties on Sunday. Vamos ya!