Signs a Birth Mom Might Change Her Mind

About 1/3 of adoptive parents experience a "failed placement" before they successfully adopt, according to what I've read. Naturally this is a concern for me, especially if any exchange of money takes place before the parent changes her mind. Whether it was used for medical expenses, living expenses, etc., it would be considered a gift and therefore, long gone.

Some sources list the following warning signs that a birth mom might change her mind:

• Her mom is not supportive of the adoption plan
• She doesn't know who the father is, or won't say
• She has friends who are parents
• She has no career or education plan for herself post-adoption
• She has chosen a name for the baby
• She has unrealistic post-adoption expectations, for example, weekly visits with the adoptive family

Obviously no case will be by-the-book, but I still think it's good to know what to look for in a potential match.

My pass along cards should arrive before Wednesday, and I'm excited to start sharing them. My attorney leans toward a "first right of refusal" plan, where anyone who thinks they know a birth parent would have to come to me for information and permission to tell them about me. But I'd rather get my name out there as much as possible, in as many states as possible. If I'm contacted by a birth mom whose situation isn't right for me, I'll just let her know. There are plenty of waiting families and no child will go without a loving home.